Because I'm thankful

Thoughts from the Thanksgiving table

Nov 28, 2021

Before I dive in, I just want to say THANK YOU! Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading. Thank you for subscribing to The LIFT. Thank you for leaving your comments + thoughts. Thank you for being part of my community. It means the world to have you here. I appreciate you more than you know!

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

Years ago, I went with a group of friends to Hollywood to watch the taping of a popular talk show. Before the show started, the guy that works the audience went around with the microphone from person to person asking them to name three things that make them happy.

Strangely, I kind of panicked. What if he sticks the microphone in my face? What will my answer be? Quick! Think of something! What three things sum up my happiness?

Most people answered quickly with things like…my husband, my kids, my health, my friends, etc.

My mind raced as I tried to decide what three things would roll off my tongue + into the microphone. But, I couldn’t come up with ANYTHING.

Thankfully, the microphone didn’t make its way to me. Can you imagine? That would have been awkward! But, I did continue to ponder this question in the back of my mind in the days that followed.

It should be easy to answer that question.

“What makes you happy?” Why was it SO hard?

That’s when I remembered one of my dad’s favorite sayings…

If you don’t like the answer you’re getting, change the question!

Maybe the reason I couldn’t name the things that make me happy is because it’s not ‘things’ that make you happy.

Think about it.

I could say my kids make me happy, but they can also be the very thing that makes me feel my lowest. I could say my extended family makes me happy, but then they can also be at the heart of my deepest frustrations. I can say that my health makes me happy, but I know lots of people suffering from health issues. Are they not happy? What happens if I lose my health? Will I also lose my happiness?

After further pondering the question of what makes me happy, I had a pretty profound realization.

My husband doesn’t make me happy. What makes me happy is spending time with someone with whom I can be totally 100% myself.

My kids don’t make me happy. What makes me happy is knowing my life has meaning + that I have something to contribute.

My health doesn’t make me happy. What makes me happy is the freedom to act upon my own thoughts without physical limitations.

The bottom line is - what makes me happy is ME! Being fully me is the source of my happiness. It all comes from within me…not from outside.

It’s not those things that I can name (husband, kids, family, health) that make me happy. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Those things are not the SOURCE of my happiness, they are the RESULT of my happiness. They are the EXPRESSION of my happiness.

So, the question shouldn’t be “What makes you happy?”

A better question would be "What is the manifestation of your happiness?" To which I would reply, “Healthy relationships, purposeful living + internal stillness.”

How about you? What is the manifestation of YOUR happiness?

WHAT ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR?

I had a similar moment around the Thanksgiving table this year. Someone started the annual tradition of asking, “What are you thankful for?”

I panicked. My mind raced to name the things in my life I am most thankful for.

And, it made me remember this story.

Maybe there’s a better question?

If we rely on certain things to be true to make us feel thankful, we have just handed over one of our greatest powers - the power to generate thankfulness. Much like happiness, thankfulness comes from inside!

So, what if you were thankful FIRST?

What if we started a new tradition? Rather than finishing the sentence, “I’m thankful for _____”, we instead finished the sentence, “Because I’m thankful, I ____”.

It really tweaks your thinking, doesn’t it?

Thanksgiving is that special time of year when we all stop to focus on what we are thankful for. But the true spirit of Thanksgiving is not digging up things to be thankful for. It’s looking for ways to express our thankfulness. It’s recognizing what we have + reaching out to others to give back.

YOUR MISSION:

Thankfulness is only as good as its expression. So, this year as you ponder what you’re thankful for…ask yourself a better question. Ask yourself how you will muster up the spirit of thankfulness within yourself, in spite of what is going on around you. Ask yourself what you will do to express thankfulness out in the world.

Find ways to finish the sentence, “Because I’m thankful, I…”

Let’s practice. Leave a comment + finish the sentence - “Because I’m thankful, I…”