Welcome to a new week!
I hope you had a great week - maybe even some thinking time. If you are reading this hot off the press on Sunday morning, I am running the Miami Half Marathon today. Several months ago, my friend who recently moved to Miami, invited my husband and I to come for a visit and to run this event with her.
Even though we just ran the Carlsbad Half Marathon two weeks ago, we have never traveled for a running event. We usually only participate in running events in our own backyard. That way we can sleep in our own bed, cook our own pre-race meals and control for all of the elements.
But, here we are running 13.1 miles today in a different time zone, after eating out for days, in a different climate. I will let you know how it went next week.
I will say, after several rainy days in San Diego, I am excited to have some fun in the sun.
Sometimes you just have to show up and see what happens.
Welcome to The LIFT
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SHOW UP
When I look back at some of the more pivotal moments of my life, I realize how truly accidental they were. Right place. Right time. Maybe ‘accidental’ isn’t the right word - but unexpected - unplanned - pivotal nevertheless.
For years, my husband and I lived in a brand-new, master-planned community. We were among the first 200 families to move into the neighborhood, which now has over 3400 homes.
I remember having a conversation with my husband where we agreed that if we were going to buy this house and buy into all that it was offering (walkability, small town feel, sense of community), we were going ALL in.
Of course, we didn’t know exactly what that meant, but for us, it was just a commitment to be friendly, get to know our neighbors, show up for community events, and enjoy everything this community offered us.
And, we did.
We showed up at every community event and awkwardly introduced ourselves to people we didn’t know. We made an effort to meet our neighbors and open up our home for get-togethers.
If something was going on, we showed up.
I remember when the first school in the community was being built. About six months before it opened, the school district hosted a ‘Meet your principal’ meeting. We had two little girls who would be attending the new school, so I decided to take some time out of my day to attend the meeting.
What I didn’t realize is that those of us gals who showed up at the meeting that day would become the founding PTO (parent-teacher organization) for the school. We would play a pivotal role in the traditions formed, the programs offered, and the culture of how the school and community would be connected.
None of us knew each other, but from that point forward, we spent countless hours together planning events, raising funds, and supporting the administration and staff at the school. We formed deep friendships and made forever memories together.
And, it all started because we showed up at a meeting one day. Not because we wanted to take all of this on, but because we were curious and wanted to see what our new school was all about. We just showed up.
In the decades that followed, I learned more about this idea of showing up.
There’s a famous quote…
The world is run by those who show up.
Being active in a community organization or a non-profit will show you just how true this statement is.
What always surprised me in the different roles I played throughout the years in my community is how few people really do show up. It’s always just a handful and they are often the same people that show up for everything. Have you ever noticed that?
The thing is that these are the places where ideas are shared, decisions are made and connections are built. To be included, you have to show up.
Maybe you’re not interested in running the world or community building, but the same thing applies to whatever you ARE interested in - getting in shape, learning to cook, writing, theatre, art - you have to show up. Show up in front of the blank page, the canvas, the class, the club, the planning committee.
How many times do we feel the spark of curiosity or interest in an event or meeting or cause, but we don’t show up for it?
We quickly rationalize that we don’t have time. We don’t belong. It’s not our place.
SHOW OFF
Last week, I shared a podcast interview with Chip Conley here in The LIFT. One of the things that stuck with me from that conversation was the idea of showing up in midlife. Chip shared how in our younger years, we attach our egos to this idea of showing up. We show up having to prove ourselves. It’s a bit more like ‘showing off’ than showing up.
In midlife, there is a shift. We don’t have to make everything a performance. We have already proved ourselves. We can just show up. As we are. Who we are. And, it’s enough. But, we have conditioned ourselves to feel like we have to always be ‘on’ or be proving something.
We can let that go.
How often do you catch yourself either trying to be something or feeling like you’re not enough for something?
What if you could just show up as you? And, let that be enough?
It’s not saying that you know it all or have everything to offer. It’s just saying - I’m here. Curious. Open to learning and sharing.
SHOW OUT
Midlife is a funny spot.
Culturally, there is a weird pressure to be winding down. To have achieved everything you set out to achieve. To have proved everything you wanted to prove. And sure, there is some truth to that.
But, there’s also this other truth. The truth that while those ego parts of you are winding down, other parts of you are just waking up - maybe for the first time.
No one talks about that or prepares us.
You’re right there in the middle - of what you know for sure and what you wonder if you will ever know.
Very few people are actually winding down in midlife. If you watch for it, you will see how many of the most accomplished people we see out there didn’t even start on the project they are known for (the company they built, the book they wrote, the non-profit they started) until after the age 50.
So much starts in the other half of midlife. But we have to keep showing up.
And, we have to let go of the idea that we need to be anything more than what we already are. No showing off - just showing up and showing out. In all our wisdom and experience. In all of our willingness to learn. In all of our curiosity.
Because that is enough.
The world is run by people who genuinely show up and put time into things they know are important and need to be done. These people aren't necessarily the smartest, or the most innovative, or the most talented. They are just the people who turned up every day, who pushed just a little bit further and a little bit longer than anyone else. (Eva Sherwood Hayter)
YOUR MISSION:
This week, I invite you to play with this idea. Just show up - but not to show off. Not because you’re there to save the day or to get it all right. Show up because you’re ready to show out. To just be yourself. To be present. To offer what you have discovered so far. To be willing to see what’s next. Will you try it?
RESOURCES:
WATCH: An Alternative to the Midlife Crisis | Chip Conley
READ: The world is run by those who show up | Eva Sherwood Hayter
READ: Soundtracks: The surprising solution to overthinking | Jon Acuff
IN SUMMARY:
True story… Since we are leaving town, I had to write this a day earlier than I normally do. So I bumped my writing time up a day on my calendar.
When I sat down to write, I didn’t think it was going to come together today. I resolved that I would have to pack up my laptop and write on the plane while traveling. But, I decided to stick with my adjusted calendar and just show up.
I’m so glad I did. Now, The LIFT is ready for you and I can leave my laptop at home.
The world is run by those who show up. And, the truth is, we need more people to show up. In all the ways. Mostly, in our own unique way. That’s why we are each here in our own expression. That’s our gift.
I hope you will join me in your corner of the world in showing up more - in big ways and small - for yourself and for others. We don’t have to know it all, we just have to be willing to show up.
The rest will take care of itself.
See you next week?
Meanwhile, reach out to me anytime!
Karen Friend Smith
Certified Health Coach & Environmental Health Specialist
Specializing in Perimenopause & Menopause
karen@itmaybemenopause.com
www.itMayBeMenopause.com
Instagram: @itmaybemenopause
This is just what I needed to start this week! Thank you so much! I’m typically one to always show up and I’ve started to resent it, especially at work. But reading this made me remember I do it because I enjoy it and being involved makes me feel valued.
I do wish in my younger years and raising my two daughters that I had known about “showing up/joining” It just wasn’t a thing 50 years ago as it is now! My daughters’ generation get it tho; It has evolved! Great article. ❤️