Not liking what you see?
Here's an easy way to change it...
Before I dive into this week’s LIFT - I just wanted to send a big THANK YOU to all of you who supported our fundraiser for Breast Cancer Prevention Partners. Our team raised over $1200!
It felt good to stand on the top of Double Peak on Sunday morning feeling your support! Thank you for being part of it!
If you missed last week’s newsletter - you can view it here. Make sure you subscribe using the button below so you get The LIFT delivered right to your inbox each Sunday morning.
A Little Perspective
You’ve probably seen this image before.
When you look at it, what do you see? A young woman or an old woman?
There are actually two distinct images in this illustration - a young woman AND an old woman.
Can you see them BOTH?
Illustrations like this are such a good reminder that we choose what we see + that there are often multiple ways to see the exact same thing just by making a small shift in perspective.
As a kid, I always loved looking at ambiguous/reversible images - trying to shift my perspective from one image to the other.
As an adult, I find myself doing this same exercise in life. Looking at circumstances from different angles. Trying to see things in the best way possible.
In fact, I got a lot of practice changing perspective this month. My husband + I have been living in a hotel room for about four weeks now due to flooding in our building. (If you missed that story - you can catch up on that here).
If you had asked me last month if I’d be interested in a four-week stay at one of California’s most popular destinations (San Diego) in a suite at the Hyatt hotel, eating out every meal - all without spending a dollar more than I normally spend - that would have sounded pretty glamorous + exciting.
But because it was attached to a flood, this very same scenario just didn’t seem all that attractive - packing up all our bags + checking into the hotel + eating out every meal - especially after four weeks.
Same reality. Different perspective/story.
I saw it play out again this week because after weeks of eating out every meal, we were counting the days to our first home-cooked meal + looking for ways to avoid eating out.
But when we got a call confirming we would be moved back into our unit in 10 days, we immediately stopped dreading our next meal out. Instead, we made a list of ALL of the restaurants we want to try before our ‘time is up’.
Shift Happens
It’s amazing how quickly you can change perspective.
Wayne Dyer said:
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
It’s so true. Perspective is EVERYTHING.
There are always different ways to look at any given situation. Sometimes they are obvious - other times, not so much.
And, of course, these perspectives change from person to person.
I tend to look for the most positive angle I can find for any situation. There are other people in my life who do the opposite.
Sometimes you get so ‘good’ at seeing things through your own perspective that you can’t see it any other way. And, you try to get everyone to see it ‘your way’ - which, of course, rarely works out.
Here’s a fun fact: Our perspective changes every 72 hours. This is actually physiological. It’s built in - so why not use it to your advantage?
For example, someone says something on social media that triggers you. You feel a strong need to counter back - to educate - to change their view - to ‘be right’. When, if instead, you could just step back for 72 hours, it’s almost guaranteed that your perspective on that impulse will change.
Or, you may find the other person’s perspective may change. Maybe they reach out + apologize a few days later because THEY had a change of perspective.
The point is - perspective always changes - or it CAN change. It just takes a little shift to see something in a new way.
Nothing happens TO you. It happens FOR you. - Rorion Gracie
This is a pretty powerful shift in perspective. When something triggers you, rather than getting amped up in your defense mode, instead you can go into offense by asking yourself…How might this be happening FOR me? What can I glean from this? How is this circumstance serving me?
In the case of our flood + displacement, I can honestly say I have had so much personal growth. Watching my own responses + adjustments to ever-evolving circumstances. Practicing various ways to see things. Letting go of how things ‘should be’. Reframing situations. Allowing things to work themselves out.
Some pretty awesome things have come out of this whole situation. Memories we will never forget. New friendships. Great family moments. Even a few miracles.
I could have easily missed them all if I had insisted on seeing the whole situation as a major inconvenience - as something happening TO me, instead of FOR me.
YOUR MISSION:
This week, I encourage you to practice shifting your perspective. It can be something small. In fact, that’s a great way to hone your skills. Make a game of it. There are lots of ways to practice + it can be pretty entertaining.
Look at ambiguous images online. It’s fun + will show you that you already have the skills to see things from different perspectives.
Practice the 72-hour response. Next time something triggers you - see if you can allow time before you respond. See how much your perspective changes in 72 hours.
Spend time listening to someone who has a different perspective than you. Rather than avoiding them or shutting them down, just listen. It doesn’t have to change your perspective. It will just remind you that there is always another perspective.
Ask yourself, ‘What if this isn’t happening TO me, but FOR me?’
The more we practice, the more we can easily shift our perspective when needed.
Are you in? Leave a comment so I know you are working on this with me. And, if you have a specific example, do share!
RESOURCES:
READ: (Only) 72 Hours to Freedom | Psychology Today
READ: Why time seems to go by more quickly as we get older | The Conversation
READ: How you perceive time reveals a lot about you | In The Know
READ: Fun with Ambiguous Images | The Art of Play
READ: The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have | Mark Nepo
LISTEN: Understanding Intuition Over Impulse | Guru Singh, Rich Roll Podcast
LISTEN: We Can Work It Out | The Beatles
IN SUMMARY:
I share these thoughts around perspective not to encourage us to go around changing perspectives all the time or letting others walk on us. I share it so we can loosen our grip on how we see things + realize just how malleable our viewpoint is. Sometimes just opening the aperture a bit wider can bring new light to a situation.
As we age, we tend to get very ‘good’ at projecting outcomes. We are so confident in our projections, ‘If this…then that…’ - we can easily miss the opportunity to experience something new.
I hope you’ll take some time with the resources section this week. Perspective not only changes our present moment - it changes our relationship with time. But, that’s a topic for another day.
See you next week?
P.S. If you enjoyed this post, please share it using the button below. And, if you’d like to stay in touch in real time during the week, you can find me on Instagram @redefiningkaren or on Facebook @cleanbeautyadvocate.
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Amazing article, Karen! I’ll definitely be coming back to read it again. :))