Did you set any New Year’s Resolutions this year? What about a vision board? Did you carve out time to reflect on the past year + what you’d like to bring forward in the year ahead? Or does the whole idea of any of that stuff make you want to bang your head on the wall?
Either way, this post is for you.
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LONG LIVE THE BHAG
I love a good goal…especially a BHAG (big, hairy, audacious, goal). The bigger the better. It’s aspirational. It requires planning + problem solving + focus + commitment. It feels amazing when you accomplish it. And getting there - the whole journey - it is always profound. I love watching the little pieces come together to make the impossible possible.
I’ve done this repeatedly in life - declared a BHAG + made things happen - starting businesses, buying a home, training for endurance events, fundraising for various organizations, starting community projects, and even downsizing.
I love the rush of taking on what seems impossible + breaking it down into small increments, casting a vision, executing on the plan, crossing my fingers + being completely surprised when it all magically works out.
I don’t know if this perpetual call to set BHAGs is my Type A personality or my astrological sign as a Leo or simply a habit I’ve developed. Maybe I’m trying to prove my self-worth. Maybe it’s ALL of that. Who knows?
THE PROBLEM
The problem with this approach (coming from someone who has ‘been there done that’ oh so many times) is that you can get so focused on the finish line that you miss out on the true value of the journey, which happens in the little moments along the way.
It’s tricky. A very fine line. And, one I’ve crossed many times. Maybe you have, too?
If you Google, “top 10 New Year’s Resolutions for 2022”, you will see some combination of:
Lose weight.
Eat healthier or change diet.
Get fit. Exercise more.
Spend more time with family and friends.
Be more aware and take care of mental health.
Sort out finances and cut back spending.
Travel more.
Take up a new hobby, sport or other interest.
It’s no wonder we fail at our resolutions! These are NOT resolutions at all. These are general wishes or intentions. There is no resolve - no measurable specifics, no plan of action, no map, no starting point. Just a very vague finish line that we throw out there + then wander around until we realize we are getting nowhere + give up.
A resolution is a decision - a determination - on a certain course of action. It’s a firmness of purpose.
A resolution is a clear statement with a measurable, clear path.
In 2022, I am going to walk 20 minutes a day, 5 days a week.
In 2022, I am going to eat a fresh green salad 5 days a week.
In 2022, I am going to schedule two lunch dates each month with my daughters/sisters/mom/etc.
You get the gist. There are many paths to your finish line, but you have to find one you can RESOLVE to execute. Something you can get excited about. Something measurable. Something challenging, yet achievable.
RESOLVE TO RESOLVE
Next Sunday, I’ll be running the Carlsbad Half Marathon. I’ve completed at least a dozen events like this in the last 7 years. But, I have learned that the reason I sign-up for the event is not as much about the event itself as it is about the training. The short runs by myself during the week. The long runs with friends on Sunday mornings. The excuse to go to sleep early. The extra carbs on the weekends. I LOVE training for an event.
There’s a big life lesson in that. If you want to exercise more in the new year, you must find some type of movement you LOVE doing - dance, swim, bike, hike, etc. If you want to lose weight, you have to find a way to fall in LOVE with eating healthy - cooking at home. Trying new recipes. If you want to build your retirement, you have to fall in LOVE with learning about some type of investing or new income stream.
You have to love the journey - the small steps - to your goal. The goal is just a natural by-product of the small actions you take along the way.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
I’ve seen a lot of backlash on self-improvement in recent weeks. Memes + posts expressing loathe for the whole ‘new year, new me’ mantra we’ve heard for years. The new trend is to reject/cancel New Year’s Resolutions entirely. (See RESOURCES below for more on that.)
I agree with that sentiment at some level (especially if the ‘resolution’ is one of those top 10 I listed above. Yes. Let’s cancel those types of resolutions.)
But, let’s not cancel progress + improvement. There has never been a more important time to resolve ourselves. We could definitely use some resolve in the world. There are LOTS of areas where we can improve ourselves. Right?
So - let’s be part of THAT. Let’s better ourselves in ways that matter. In ways that inspire us + those around us to be better.
Don’t cancel your resolution this year. Make it. Define it. Then go do it or BE it.
I just set a new BHAG. Want to hear about it? Check it out in the “In Summary” section below.
Your goal doesn’t have to be a BHAG. Just something measurable + meaningful to you. Don’t allow the burnout from 2020 + 2021 to rob you of a new year of improvement + progress + creativity.
We are living through one of the most transformational periods of time - EVER. Our entire reality is in the process of shifting in very profound ways. And, we are here to witness it. To tell the story. To craft something better. Together. It’s time.
YOUR MISSION:
This week, I challenge you to take some time to listen to your heart. Maybe you have a BHAG that you’re afraid to even say out loud because it sounds so out of your realm. Maybe you have a goal like ‘getting healthier’ that you say you want, but you know you don’t want it bad enough to do something about it. Allow yourself some time to explore what you truly want this year. What is your heart asking for? That is where you will find your resolve.
RESOURCES:
LISTEN: Love Letter to you for 2022 | Robyn Arzon
READ: Resolutions Are Not the Vibe for 2022 | The Atlantic
READ: Stop Forcing Resolutions in January | MIC
READ: In Defense of Resolutions | The Unpublishable
READ: New year, same old you! The secret to self-improvement is embracing your messy, imperfect life | The Guardian
READ: The exhausting concept of the “2022 rebrand” | Vox
READ: The Very Best Resolution You Can Make This Year | Brene Brown
LISTEN: How to Identify Your Negative Emotions | The Happiness Lab
IN SUMMARY:
What I know after 53 years of life on Earth is that when you truly want something, you will have it (or something better). If you stick with it, you will get there (or somewhere better). And, it’s never really the goal that matters, it’s the journey getting there.
For more on my current BHAG (maybe you’d like to support me?) - click here.
See you next week?
P.S. If you enjoyed this post, please share it using the button below. And, if you’d like to stay in touch in real time during the week, you can find me on Instagram @redefiningkaren or on Facebook @cleanbeautyadvocate.
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In the meantime, tell your friends!
Hey Karen! Happy New Year! Great article! I checked out your video and clicked the "email here" button but wasn't able to do it successfully, so I will let you know here that I'm not sure if I'll be able to support you, but I'm interested in the possible ways and would love to. I say all that because we're planning a big move back to Hawaii all the way from PA and at the same time I'm trying to launch something new, so it's a busy time. But, I'm excited for you!!! Email me at lettybenavides1@gmail.com