What are you prepared for?

I'm curious.

Welcome to a new week!

I’m sitting in the DMV right now writing The LIFT. This is what happens when you drop the ball and forget to renew your driver’s license before it expires on your birthday. Oops!

I’ve been dropping the ball on a lot of things recently. I’ve learned some stages of life are just like that. No sense stressing about it. You just have to let the balls fall where they may. 

Kind of like a trip to the DMV. 

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Welcome to The LIFT

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THE WORST

The last time I went to the DMV, I was prepared for a terrible experience but was pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t bad at all. The line moved quickly. The person behind the glass partition was pleasant. I was in and out in less than 30 minutes. 

This time…not so lucky. 

Everyone knows that a trip to the DMV sucks - unless maybe you’re 16 years old and hyped up for your driver’s test. You just have to accept the fact that it’s going to be long wait and that no one is happy to be there. 

I’m not sure why it has to be that way, but it does. 

It is what it is. Best to just be prepared. 

How do you prepare for a trip to the DMV?

First - you do the best you can to follow all of the online instructions to minimize your time spent at the DMV which I did. And, scheduling an appointment certainly helps, but wasn’t going to be an option since my license had already expired. I needed to get in sooner and that meant being prepared to wait.

For me, my idea of being prepared means a bottle of water, snacks, headset, laptop and something else to think about. 

For others, they come prepared in a different way. Prepared to defend themselves. Prepared to fight. 

There’s always someone in line who has to make things worse. As if the entire world is out to get them. They are prepared for a miserable experience - and, by golly, they are going to have one - even if they have to make it miserable themselves!

It got me thinking….isn’t that a lot like life?

Sometimes we come into something expecting the worst. We surrender to the outcome before it even happens. Or worse, we subconsciously CREATE the outcome just to prove we were right.

Of course, if we can let go of our attachment to being right, we might be surprised to find things often turn out better than expected.

Like my last trip to the DMV.

I was so certain it was going to be miserable, but rather than make it miserable for myself, I allowed myself to be pleasantly surprised by the fact that it wasn’t.

It’s always nice when things turn out better than expected. But, why do we start out expecting the worst to begin with?

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THE BEST

We’ve all been in a situation where we were expecting something amazing only to be disappointed when it didn’t live up to our expectations. No one likes that feeling. Maybe that’s why we tend to consider the worst case first.

And, once we have been let down, we would never expect something to change for the better. Instead, we carry that new expectation with us so we don’t have to be disappointed again.

Which makes sense, of course.

It would be silly to walk into the DMV expecting to have a positive or fun experience. To show up there expecting people to be friendly with over-the-top customer service. To walk in with the expectation that the process would be fast and efficient. To look forward to the opportunity to make new friends while you wait.

Expecting any of these things would certainly leave you disappointed.

We have learned what to expect or not to expect from the DMV.

Just like a lot of things in life.

There are certain things we have come to expect because it’s just how it is. We sort of know where we should expect the worst and where we should expect the best.

And, sometimes we hold very tightly to those expectations. We are going to make sure we get what we expected - good or bad.

Other times, we allow ourselves to be surprised when something goes better or worse than we had planned.

When we expect the best possible outcome, it may or may not play out that way and feeling disappointed or pleasantly surprised is about the best we can hope for.

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THE REALITY

We can either go through life prepared for the worst - to the point that we actually create it. Or prepared for the best - only to be disappointed.

But, what would happen if we didn’t expect anything at all?

What if we walked into situations curious?

No expectations. Just pure curiosity.

What would THAT be like?

I think that’s kind of how I felt walking into the DMV today. I wasn’t expecting the worst because of my previous experience. But, I certainly wasn’t expecting the best either. I just sort of stepped in line curious to see how it would all play out.

I had everything I needed to take care of myself so I could just stay in my lane. Mind my own business. Do my own thing. And still, get my license renewed.

I didn’t have to worry about what anyone else was doing. Or analyze the efficiency of the process. Or criticize the way people handled themselves.

I didn’t have to feel disappointed or surprised.

Instead, I sat here and had my own experience. Something I didn’t expect. And, something I could share with you.

The older we get, the wiser we become. We get pretty darn good at setting expectations in a way that nothing surprises us. But, maybe if we could let go of some of that and consider that we might not know as much as we think - that there are potential outcomes we haven’t experienced yet - we just might get to feel something or experience something we haven’t before.

I think I’m going to try to do that a little more intentionally going forward. Practicing letting go of expectations. Focusing on taking care of myself so I don’t get stuck at the mercy of circumstances. Allowing myself to bring more curiosity to the experience at hand. And just letting things be while I mind my own business.

Want to join me?

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YOUR MISSION:

This week, I challenge you to challenge your expectations. Noticing them is half the battle, so start there. See if you can step into something this week that you think you know well with a bit of curiosity. Prepare yourself to be surprised.

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RESOURCES:

• READ: How to manage the expectations vs reality trap in 6 steps | Calm.com

• READ: 8 Unrealistic Expectations That Will Ruin You | Forbes

• READ: Increased curiosity is the 'silver lining' of a quarter life and midlife crisis | Science News

• READ: Curiosity in old age: A possible key to achieving adaptive aging | Science Direct

• READ: Why we need to cultivate our curiosity | The Age-Well Project

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IN SUMMARY:

Have fun cultivating curiosity this week! If you haven’t already heard, my husband and I just recently moved into a 55+ community and we are sharing the adventure as we go. If you’re curious and want to follow along, you can find us now on Instagram @oceanhillsliving and on Facebook. Would love to connect with you there, too!

See you next week?

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Meanwhile, reach out to me anytime!

Karen Friend Smith
Certified Health Coach & Environmental Health Specialist
Specializing in Perimenopause & Menopause 

karen@itmaybemenopause.com
www.itMayBeMenopause.com
Instagram: @itmaybemenopause

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