Welcome to a new week!
Hope you had a great week! It’s a bit chaotic in our life right now, but I’m sure we’re not the only ones.
Whether you’re in the midst of transition like a big move or new job (or BOTH like us) or you are simply feeling the loss of structure and routine that comes with summer and vacation and all of that jazz - I feel your pain!
Change is constant and ultimately it is always good, but it doesn’t always feel that way. So, how can we soothe ourselves during these times without getting completely derailed? How can we use the transitions to level up and create some improvements in our lives without losing our marbles in the process?
These are some of the questions I’ve been pondering in the background of the chaos in my life this week.
Welcome to The LIFT
Let me know you were here by clicking the little ❤ , leaving a comment + sharing it with your friends! If you haven’t subscribed, click the “Subscribe Now” button below for a weekly pick me up. A new issue comes out every Sunday + will be delivered right to your inbox. You can read previous issues here.
DROWNING
If you read The LIFT regularly, you know my husband and I are in the midst of a move. Heck, you are probably sick of hearing about it! I promise, it is almost over. August 1 we will officially be in our new spot.
But, let’s be honest - a move isn’t just a day.
And, THIS isn’t just a move. We are shaking up EVERYTHING - jobs, schedules, all of it.
My husband and I are very much about optimizing our lives - having routines and systems that support our health goals, family, community, recreation and rest. And, we’re actually really good at it. Having a structure in place that keeps what matters most front and center while always having breathing room for the unexpected - it just makes life so much easier and enjoyable. It’s what gives us both that easy-going vibe we embody.
Right now though, everything is in flux and off schedule. So, we are having to adapt. And, I’m noticing a lot of things about myself in the process.
Several years ago, we traveled to Hawaii where we had the opportunity to go snorkeling at Two Steps in Honaunau Bay - one of the best snorkeling areas in the world. Our family strapped up in our snorkel gear and stepped across the lava rocks where we jumped into the water ready for the adventure.
I don’t know what I was thinking, but as soon as I realized I was in over my head (literally), I knew I shouldn’t be there. I hadn’t been in water that deep in years and I sort of panicked. I could feel the pull of the tide and I didn’t feel like I had any control. I knew I had to get back onto solid ground. And quick. So, I made my way back to the entry point and swiftly exited the water.
It sounds silly. I know how to swim. Or at least I thought I did until that moment. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I had been in deep water and I did not have the confidence or skills to enjoy my time there.
This week, I’ve had several moments that feel like that one. Like the ground beneath me is gone, I’m treading water and I feel like I am not in control.
You’ve been there, right? Maybe not with swimming, but we all know that feeling of being in over our head and sort of panicking about whether we can navigate our way through a situation with any sort of grace.
TREADING WATER
It’s not like I was in a life-threatening situation while snorkeling that day. I wasn’t going to drown or anything. I just didn’t like the feeling of treading water and having nowhere to touch down. And, I panicked.
This week, I’ve had several moments where I can’t respond to situations the way I want to. I can’t get things done. I’m dropping the ball on things that should be simple. Heck, I can’t even remember what day it is.
And I can feel the anxiety in me rise like it did that day in the water.
During those times, I have to slow down. Take some deep breaths. Accept that I’m not performing the way I would like. Practice treading water. And just allow myself to stay afloat without being the strong swimmer I think I am.
It’s a skill - treading water. And, it’s not a bad idea to practice it once in a while in case you ever find yourself in deep water and need to hang tight for a bit.
For me - treading water means taking care of myself. Managing my energy. And practicing presence.
Years ago, my mom taught me the idea of knowing your “must be’s”. What are those core things that you need in order to feel happy/safe/peace? Knowing these things can really help you create a sense of grounding even when the ground underneath you isn’t there.
Some of my ‘must-be’s’ are being outside, exercise, adventure, learning something new and time to myself to recharge. I love my quiet coffee time in the morning. Time to think and write. Time to connect with others. Time to unwind at the end of the day.
If I can find a way to weave these things into my day - even in the midst of chaos, I feel grounded and I can find my personal ‘happy place’.
Another thing that helps tremendously while treading water is communication with those around you - whether your family, co-workers or friends. Letting people know you are in survival mode or that you’re feeling anxious and need to breathe for a bit - it goes a long way.
Normally, my husband and I have a weekly check-in about our schedule and what we need from each other that week. But, right now, it’s a daily thing. Sometimes hourly. We touch base with more frequency about what we need, what we’re feeling and how we can best support each other - while also communicating when we just need time to ourselves to get things done.
The hardest thing about treading water (for me, anyway) is allowing things to float by without panicking.
When you are in survival mode, you can’t do all of the things. You just have to accept that. You can’t help others the way you would like. You have to conserve your energy. You have to bob around looking useless. And, not worry about how that looks to everyone else.
You know your capacity and you have to let it be enough.
Treading water isn’t a bad thing. It’s a handy skill and it can save your life. It can also be a good time to regroup and reset. To reflect on those ‘must-be’s’. Maybe even use the time to appreciate and take in the view around you.
I wish I would have at least done that during our snorkeling adventure instead of quickly retreating to the lava rocks.
In fact, that’s my commitment to myself this week. To float in the chaos. To look around and appreciate the view from this vantage point. And to know I will be back on solid ground soon enough.
Want to join me?
YOUR MISSION:
This week, I challenge you to create a bit of structure for yourself in the chaos. Whether it is big life stuff or just the small stuff. What are your ‘must-be’s? What’s missing right now and how can you create just enough of it to keep you afloat until you get back on solid ground?
IN SUMMARY:
If you are treading water right now, hang in there. You are not alone bobbing around. Don’t panic. We are in this together. And, if you are in one of those places in life where you are swimming strong - keep an eye out for those who are treading water. See if you can help out or support them in some way.
See you next week?
Meanwhile, reach out to me anytime!
Karen Friend Smith
Certified Health Coach & Environmental Health Specialist
Specializing in Perimenopause & Menopause
karen@itmaybemenopause.com
www.itMayBeMenopause.com
Instagram: @itmaybemenopause
We know you and TK have got this! Bobbing or no bobbing!🤗
"You know your capacity and you have to let it be enough." That is my take away from the article. Wishing you well on the shake-up!!!