What is Social Fitness?
A new kind of workout for better health
Good Morning!
So glad to see you here! Thanks for showing up! I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how important it is to ‘show up’ in life - even during those times when you just want to hide out.
However you are feeling today, I hope this gives you the nudge you need to keep showing up.
Welcome to The LIFT
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REST NOT
I didn’t want to run today. But, I did. Not because I’m a glutton for punishment. It was something else entirely.
I run three mornings each week and today’s run was number three. When I woke up and got my morning rolling, I almost talked myself out of it. Maybe I would take a rest day and get an early start on my work day. I was consistent all week with my workouts - nothing wrong with taking an extra rest day.
But then, my mind flipped over to the thought about all of the “Good Mornings” I would miss if I skipped it. I wouldn’t get to see all of the ‘regulars’ out on the loop around our neighborhood. I couldn’t bear the thought of missing out on that part of my day. So, next thing you know, I was lacing up my running shoes.
It was actually kind of cool witnessing the whole thought process and noticing where my true motivation was. It wasn’t in my physical fitness - it was my social fitness.
Are you familiar with the term?
Social fitness is the ability to build and maintain healthy relationships, and use those relationships to manage stress and perform well.
I listened to a really fascinating podcast this week with Dr. Robert Waldinger. For over 85 years, Harvard University has been conducting a study on happiness, following the lives of a group of individuals from childhood to old age.
This study is tracking indicators of what makes life fulfilling and meaningful. What determines your health as you age? What things in midlife predict happiness in your later years?
Turns out it’s not all of the things we think and actively pursue - wealth, career achievement, fitness - but rather:
The No. 1 key to a happy life: ‘Social fitness’
Does that surprise you?
I first started hearing this idea of social fitness when learning about the Blue Zones from Dan Buettner. Looking at the places in the world with the healthiest, longest-living populations, this idea of community and connection was one of the pivotal aspects of longevity found in his research.
In our own pursuit of health and fitness, my husband and I decided that we needed to make friendships and community a bigger priority in our lives.
It was also a big part of our decision to move this year. We had a fabulous community where we were living before, but it was also a transient community. People were not there to put down roots.
After learning from this Harvard study about how those who felt satisfied with their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80 - we decided it was time to lean into our relationships even more - and to do it now.
WANT NOT
Before we moved, my husband and I would lift weights at our gym on Tuesday and Thursday nights. In between those two nights, we met up with friends for “Wine Wednesday” - a neighborhood happy hour.
When we went out the door to meet our friends on those nights, we would say to each other - “Ready for some social lifting?” We truly saw that time as an important part of our wellness plan.
Turns out social ‘lifting’ is just as important as weight lifting if you want to build a healthier, happier life.
It makes sense, but at the same time, we don’t give social fitness the priority it deserves given the fact that it’s the number one determinant of human happiness and quality of life.
Our relationships have a powerful influence over our health outcomes - more than diet, exercise, sleep or any other healthy habit.
And, I felt it this morning when my desire for social connection was the very thing that drew me out for my morning run.
We tend to think that once we establish friendships and intimate relationships, they will take care of themselves. But our social life is a living system, and it needs exercise. Marc Shultz
It’s interesting to think of our social life in terms of fitness because just like physical fitness, it’s not something you just do one time and think you’re covered for life. It’s something you continually work on and adjust and change. You invest in it regularly and consistently for the best results.
As “newbies” in our neighborhood these last few months, we have been deep in the throes of improving our social fitness. We are constantly meeting new people, trying to remember names, learning how to connect with strangers and dealing with the awkwardness of being in new spaces.
I keep having this experience of social muscle fatigue and soreness - much like you feel the day after a good physical workout. I figure it’s a good sign of putting in the work.
It’s also really interesting to look at the science behind how good relationships protect not only our physical fitness, but also our mental fitness. People who have good relationships stay sharper longer. It’s one of the best things we can do for our brain health.
Of course, as humans we would rather focus on pills, supplements - any type of ‘quick fix’ when it comes to health. Relationships are anything but that. They are messy, complicated and it’s hard work that never ends. But when you consider the value it brings to your life - both now and as you age - it makes you want to ‘lace up’ and get out there, doesn’t it?
If you’re reading this and thinking maybe you need to up your game when it comes to social fitness, I hope you will use some of the resources below to inspire action.
Social fitness requires taking stock of our relationships, and being honest with ourselves about where we’re devoting our time and whether we are tending to the connections that help us thrive.” Marc Schulz and Robert Waldinger
YOUR MISSION:
This week, I challenge you to work on your social fitness. A good place to start is to take stock of your current relationships. What needs some tending to?
RESOURCES:
WATCH: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED Talk
READ: An 85-year Harvard study found the No. 1 thing that makes us happy in life: It helps us ‘live longer’ | CNBC
LISTEN: The #1 Controller of Human Health & Longevity | The Model Health Show
READ: The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness | by Robert Waldinger M.D. & Marc Schultz PhD.
IN SUMMARY:
A quick reminder that it’s not easy building good relationships, but it’s also not as hard as we make it. Like any fitness program, it doesn’t matter where you start - it only matters that you start. Start right where you’re at and trust the process. If you feel a little ‘sore’, it’s a sign that you’re getting stronger. Don’t quit. Lace up and get out there again.
See you next week?
Meanwhile, reach out to me anytime!
Karen Friend Smith
Certified Health Coach & Environmental Health Specialist
karen@itmaybemenopause.com
www.itMayBeMenopause.com
Instagram: @itmaybemenopause
❤️
How about some Social Fitness on Thursday? I enjoyed your Lift message…..it seems to make such good sense. Thank you!