When should I downsize?
What I learned looking back.
Welcome to a new week!
Thanks so much for being here. For those of you who know me well, you’ve heard some version of this story before. I was going through my drafts of The LIFT and realized this is one I never published so I’m sharing it now.
We also just recently moved - so it’s a good reminder for me about my ongoing commitment to simplifying life and the clutter it brings.
October has always been a month of moving for us. It was the month that we bought our first house where we raised our girls. It was also the month that we downsized five years ago and started our next chapter.
If you are thinking about changes in your life, fall is a great time to do some paring down. Much like the trees dropping their leaves to prepare for winter and spring, we can use the energy of nature around us to let go of things that no longer serve us and focus on our roots.
I hope this gives you the nudge you need to take a step closer to whatever feels lighter for you.
Welcome to The LIFT
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WHAT NEXT?
Five years ago, my husband + I made a big shift in our lifestyle. For 25 years, we lived in the same five-mile radius - a college town just north of San Diego - in a cookie-cutter neighborhood. The 3BR house. The yard. The two-car garage.
We raised our two daughters during that time - along with a cat + dog.
One day, after my husband returned home from his daily commute to San Diego, we had a conversation about how much our daily routine centered around maintaining our current lifestyle.
Meal prepping. Morning + bedtime alarms. Household chores.
It all made perfect sense when there were four of us. But now, with our daughters off living their own lives, it just didn’t.
The house, the yard, the school, the community.
Maybe it was time to build our lifestyle a little differently. Eliminate the commute. Get the right amount of space for us. Reduce the clutter that had accumulated over the years.
We had crafted so much of our life around raising kids + all of that stuff. Now, it was our turn.
What could we do to make our lifestyle more conducive to enjoying our evenings together? Doing fun things on the weekend? Freeing up time + resources?
PROJECT DOWNSIZE
To make a long story short, my husband noticed a new building going up right down the street from his office. A luxury high-rise. Every day he would run past it during his lunchtime runs. He scouted out the surrounding area. It seemed like a great fit for us.
We booked a tour as soon as they finished construction + we knew right away - this was it. We got excited. We strategized about how we could make it work. We talked to our family.
Then, we took the leap.
We signed a lease that would start in 90 days + we kicked-off what we called #projectdownsize.
We would be moving from 2400 square feet to just under 800. One parking space. One car. One very small 5’x7’ storage space.
Every weekend + every spare moment, we started emptying rooms. Selling some things. Donating others. We went through every box in the garage. Every closet. Every cupboard.
We designated some cabinet space in our house that was the same size as what we would have in the new apartment. Then we hand-picked the things that would go with us + we placed them in those cabinets. We did the same for our closets.
Everything else had to go.
That included all of the boxes of memorabilia from childhood. The yearbooks. The kids’ arts + crafts. We went through it all. And, we allowed each of us to fill one small box with the things we really wanted to keep. The rest we captured photos of + said our goodbyes.
If you’ve downsized yourself or you have helped a parent downsize or you’ve lost someone you love + were forced to sort through their things, you know what I’m talking about. It’s a huge undertaking. Sorting through your stuff. Letting things go.
We attach memories + meaning to things. We hang onto things just in case we might need them someday. We save things to pass on to the next generation.
Then, there are the things that accumulate even though we try to minimize them. That sweater we never returned. That thing we bought because we couldn’t find the one we knew we had somewhere in the house, but couldn’t find. The coffee mugs, water bottles + shopping bags that multiply + collect.
WHAT WORKED?
Looking back, I think our strategy for downsizing was accidentally brilliant.
The deadline: We would have NEVER done it if we hadn’t created this deadline + this forced reduction of space.
The perspective: We made it fun. (I can’t tell you how many times we sang The Jeffersons theme song during those 90 days.)
The reward: We had a big reward waiting for us + we tackled the project layer by layer.
Today, our space is so efficient for us. We have just the right number of dishes + cookware. We get in our car once or twice a week, rather than twice a day.
We use all of our space. We enjoy our amenities. We have so much more free time because there is nothing to maintain.
And, if we were to drop dead tomorrow, our girls would have easy access to a few important things + the rest is completely attachment free. They could just send someone to our building to take everything away if they wanted to.
For me, that feels incredibly good. I like living without that attachment to things. It has brought so much levity to my life. It’s allowing me to focus on the things I DO care about. The relationships. The experiences.
When we made the big decision exactly five years ago, we had no idea how it would turn out, but we knew if we didn’t like it, we could always go back. There was nothing to lose in trying it out. Nothing but a bunch of stuff!
As it turns out, we could never have realized what we would gain if we hadn’t taken the leap. The things we have learned. The experiences we have had. The friendships we have made.
Ultimately, it has opened up so many more possibilities for us. More options.
And, the really cool thing has been the freedom it has given us.
Freedom to explore. Freedom of time.
IS IT TIME?
I share these thoughts with you not because I’m saying everyone should sell everything they own + go live in a high-rise. Not everyone would enjoy that lifestyle. But, crafting a life + routine that you love living is something we should all pursue.
For us, that’s:
A lifestyle that allows time to enjoy the sunrise + sunset each day. A lifestyle that allows ample playtime. A lifestyle that makes every day feel like a vacation.
If that’s something you’re longing for, I say go for it. Or at least start envisioning it.
For us, it didn’t happen overnight. It didn’t even happen in 90 days. We talked about it for a long time before we kicked our plan into action.
We started painting a picture of how we wanted our life to look + feel. We took steps to give ourselves the freedom to make the change.
And, because we did all of these things, it made it easier to take the leap when all of the stars were aligned.
I’m so glad we didn’t wait. By downsizing when we did in our early 50s, we not only gave ourselves the freedom to enjoy these years before retirement a little bit more, we also opened up new options for ourselves that didn’t even exist for us five years ago.
We now know what we value most in the things we own. We know how much space we truly need. We have discovered new hobbies + interests. We have learned from new friendships + connections.
It’s a great way to step into the second half of life. Lighter.
Less stuff. More options. That’s what I call freedom.
YOUR MISSION:
This week, I challenge you to practice letting go. At some point we have to let go of all of it, so why not get a little practice now? Find something you have that has some meaning to you + find a way to let it go. Start small. Allow the memory of it to be enough.
IN SUMMARY:
Reading this was a good reminder for me that downsizing is a practice I want to maintain and prioritize in my life. There’s always something in life that needs some paring - cabinet, closet, calendar, projects, commitments. I’ve got several leaves to drop this week. Let’s do it together! Let it go!
See you next week?
Meanwhile, reach out to me anytime!
Karen Friend Smith
Certified Health Coach & Environmental Health Specialist
karen@itmaybemenopause.com
www.itMayBeMenopause.com
Instagram: @itmaybemenopause
When we undertook this process, I chose to call it ”right sizing“ for the new period in our life. So glad we did it!
Loved this! And last week's piece about strengthening the social core. It made me change my perspective on groups with which I interact. Change the perspective, change the behavior. Results are feel more loving towards people! Thanks for the lift!
Annie