Getting to know yourself (again)

When change punches you in the face

Welcome to a new week!

Last week, I wrote about healthy habits + a reader shared her frustration of how her body no longer responds the way it used to - how things that worked for her throughout the decades, just don’t seem to work anymore.

Sound familiar!

Let’s dive into that…

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WHAT HAPPENED?

If you missed last week’s LIFT, you can read or listen to it here + might want to do that real quick so this post makes more sense.

First off, thank you Patti for saying what so many of us have felt.

Excellent advice. Except. When what works for you for decades suddenly stops. And you don't know why or how to make it better.

I'm at that juncture now. I've revamped my eating. Which is really difficult. How did I absolutely love eating spinach only to find now I can't stand the sight of it? Or how did I hate nuts only to find today I can't stop devouring them. I've lifted weights with excellent results all my life until recently. I can't seem to build and maintain muscle. I'm almost 66. Things used to change subtly... be prepared. At some point these changes will be dramatic and leave you writhing on the floor asking yourself what happened??

• Patti has a great Substack newsletter that you can check out here.

In my opinion, this is one of the biggest challenges of menopause.

No one really prepares us for the fact that when we reach menopause, we are very different. We are operating with an entirely different mix of hormones + it affects EVERYTHING. How we look. Our constitution. Skin. Bones. Muscles. Fat. Shape. How everything works. Metabolism. Gut health. Hormones. How we think. Priorities. Perspective. Process. How we feel. Relationships. Emotions.

Many of us notice this sense of not caring so much about what others think. About having less ‘f**ks’ to give. We are less willing to put up with stuff we don’t want in our lives.

For many women, this translates into a sense of confidence + boldness that feels new + different.

It’s also harder to make yourself do the things you don’t want to do. All of the SHOULDs we carry around. There’s a defiance inside about being told what we ‘should’ do.

It’s all part of the change.

Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash

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WHAT’S HAPPENING?

At the same time, while all of this change takes place, it’s also a time of coming back to yourself. Which is really weird. I mean, how can both of those things happen at the same time, but somehow they do.

There’s this reconnection that we have with ourselves at some level. A reconnection with that little girl we were before puberty set in. Before our lives were taken over by a monthly cycle of hormones. Before we learned to navigate + surrender to a rhythm that would drive our behaviors + priorities. Before those hormones transformed us into the nurturers + caretakers we spent decades developing.

It’s like picking up a piece of yourself that you forgot was there.

Like a dormant seed that suddenly has space to finally bloom into.

It’s all part of the transformation.

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NOW WHAT?

What are we transforming to? Age? Illness? Death?

I mean, in today’s society we don’t get the sense that our best years are ahead of us. We don’t treat menopause as an important transition. A pivotal time for healing + growth.

Instead, we position it as a deficiency or disease that if not treated will lead to decline + death.

What do we do to protect our health at this stage? To be our healthiest self when none of the things we used to do are working for us anymore?

That is the question a lot of us are struggling with.

There is such a gap in women’s health - research, treatments, quality of life - which is a topic for another day, but for those of us caught in that gap, what do we do?

How do we get healthier, stay healthier, live healthier - as we age?

There is no blueprint. It’s true. And, while there are all kinds of studies + experiments going on right now in the realm of longevity + health span, we are the pioneers here, my friends. The problem solvers. The leaders.

We are living it all in real-time. And, while we have watched our lifespan double in the last 150 years, we haven’t figured out how to live well. To be well in age. We see some random successes + clues out there, but we don’t have this dialed in yet. So, of course, it’s easy to get scared. Frustrated. Overwhelmed.

What we really need is to get curious. Bold. Open. Brave. Vulnerable.

This is exactly why I am so passionate about working with women through this stage. Helping them reconnect with their own vitality. The force that guides the excitement of learning, being curious + embodiment. Getting to know this new body we don’t recognize. Redefining self-care. Being fierce in expanding our health + intentional in how we expend it.

Menopause is a vital time in our lives. A time to relearn. Retool. Reconnect. Recharge.

But, our world is really not set up to support that effort. Instead, we have to claim it for ourselves.

As frustrating + alone as it can feel, it’s especially important to realize we’re not in it alone. 1.1 billion women worldwide will be in menopause in 2025. And, we are all figuring it out together. Demanding better research, education + care.

That said, it’s not something we wait for. It’s time to roll up our sleeves + get in the arena.

It’s also a time to be very gentle with ourselves. To get to know ourselves again. The old parts. The new parts. The stubborn parts. The playful parts. The dark parts. The light parts. The loving parts. The healing parts.

If we can honor this time of transition, recognize the change, reconnect with that wisdom inside that got a little lost along the way, treat ourselves like a new friend or one that we haven’t seen in a long while + really listen, we might discover the seeds of the next chapter are right there emerging from beneath the wilting leaves.

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YOUR MISSION:

This week, I challenge you to notice what’s not working for you anymore. Where do you find yourself frustrated with results? Can you turn that around? What if that’s just an opportunity to listen? To ask questions? To get curious? To try something new?

Speaking of new - for those of you interested in understanding the stages of menopause + how to support your hormonal health, I’m hosting a free webinar where I will share some info about the different stages + some of the surprising culprits adding to the hormonal havoc we are seeing today. Would love to see you there. Here’s the scoop.

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RESOURCES:

• READ: Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity | Peter Attia, MD

• READ: Hello, Fears: Crush Your Comfort Zone and Become Who You're Meant to Be | Michele Poler

• READ: Wolfpack: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game | Abby Wambach

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IN SUMMARY:

Thanks for being here + have a fabulous week! I hope you’ll join me LIVE for my free webinar.

Meanwhile, please share this post with someone you know who might benefit from a little LIFT. And, if I can help you with your health journey, I’m here.

You can learn more on my website or follow along with me on Instagram @itMayBeMenopause

See you next week?

Meanwhile - you can read thru the archives here. And, please reach out to me anytime!

Email: karen@itmaybemenopause.com
Instagram: @itmaybemenopause

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