You know that feeling when you are just wiped out or totally overwhelmed? Maybe you are physically tired, but more often, it’s just that kind of emotional exhaustion where you just want to plop down on the sofa or crawl into bed, which are probably great options, but instead, we do something like eat a pint of ice cream or drink a glass of wine or binge watch something on Netflix to numb ourselves. (That was a REALLY long sentence! Okay, it wasn’t a real sentence, more of a stream of thoughts. Maybe I’m tired? LOL.)
My point here is that we all know that feeling - the one where we are at the end of our rope + we make bad choices. Sometimes the bad choices just impact us - other times, they impact those around us.
Ideally, we try to avoid getting to that point, but sometimes we don’t realize we have crossed that line until it’s too late.
Welcome to The LIFT
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WTF
You have no doubt noticed the insanity going on in our world right now. It’s hard to ignore. People are crazy. On edge. I can’t tell you how many times this past week I just stopped + thought - WTF is going on?
A friend of mine was violently attacked while walking down the street last week by someone living on the streets. Mass shootings are becoming a regular occurrence around the country. We saw teens rioting in Chicago a few weeks ago. We have heard multiple stories of mistaken identity + people shooting ‘trespassers’ on their property. The list goes on + on.
These examples show that this ‘edginess’ - this unhinged, unstable, deranged mentality - is not something affecting just one part of our society. It’s ALL of us. Across the board. We are out of our minds.
It’s scary. It is.
There are two things about all of this that scare me the most.
One - we are clearly ill. Behaviors like this do not come from a place of health, gratitude, abundance, joy + love. They come from a place of fear, uncertainty, doubt, dis-ease, anger + hate. We have created an environment where people are not physically or mentally well. In many ways, our economy is dependent on these conditions. (That’s a topic for a completely separate article.)
Two - we are becoming afraid of each other. We try to steer clear of anyone who seems unusual or suspect. We are concerned to be in crowds + gatherings. Now, we have to be afraid of pulling into the wrong driveway or knocking on the wrong door. We spent the last few years during the pandemic afraid of each other spreading germs. Now, we are afraid of making someone angry. (We just started watching BEEF this week on Netflix. Are you watching? It’s crazy + yet, the messaging resonates with so many.)
Okay, maybe there are THREE things that scare me most because looking back at the two I just wrote about here, you can see a Catch-22. These two things feed into each other. Without connection, community + love, we become ill. And, we can’t heal without connection, community + love. It’s just how the human body works.
One of the most important aspects of health is connection, community + a sense of belonging.
How can we foster health when we are afraid of each other?
FUD
Are you familiar with the term FUD? It stands for Fear, Uncertainty + Doubt.
Fear, uncertainty and doubt is a propaganda tactic used in sales, marketing, public relations, politics, polling and cults. FUD is generally a strategy to influence perception by disseminating negative and dubious or false information and a manifestation of the appeal to fear. (Source: Wikipedia)
There’s a lot of FUD’ing in our world. Have you noticed? And, yes, there are a lot of valid reasons to feel FUD. It’s also important to realize that FUD will make you sick - which perpetuates this whole problem we are seeing.
So - what do we do?
HALT
I don’t have the answers. That’s for sure. But, I’ll tell you what I do when fear, uncertainty + doubt start to take over.
I always start with a check-in on myself - both physically + mentally.
Do you know the HALT method? The acronym stands for ‘hungry, angry, lonely, tired’. When I walk myself through that framework - Am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired? - I can usually find an area that needs some attention.
I like this approach because it addresses both physical + mental states. Hungry + tired are physical, while angry + lonely are emotional. This strategy helps you examine both of those + where they crossover.
The HALT method is so practical because it forces you to stop + pay attention to your basic needs. When we don’t have our basic needs met, we get crazy. We spiral. We flounder. We hallucinate.
Fear, uncertainty + doubt thrive when our basic needs are unmet.
HALT puts you back in the driver’s seat. No matter what is happening around you, addressing these four categories will give you a sense of clarity + control so you can avoid the downward spiral that leads to bad choices + negative feelings.
HUNGER
Physical hunger + nutritional deficiencies can lead to irritability, anger or feelings of nausea. When your brain is not getting proper fuel + energy, you do not think clearly + you make terrible decisions. Eating nutrient-dense, balanced meals is not just about helping your waistline, it is key to your mental health + will keep your brain functioning properly. Skipping meals is where we really get in trouble because it throws off our blood sugar levels, which impacts our decision-making + behavior. It’s also important that we eat mindfully. When we slow down + focus as we eat, we activate our parasympathetic nervous system, which allows us to digest more fully + absorb more nutrients.
ANGER
If you are like me, anger is not an emotion you enjoy. It’s one of those emotions you don’t want to admit you have so you try to ignore it or stuff it down. You don’t know what to do with it. What we really need to do is let it out so it doesn’t build up. Stress management, meditation + journaling can help. It also helps to change your location or find somewhere to scream. A good workout or dance session can release some of the tension, too. Literally, shake it out!
LONELY
We are social creatures. Our health depends on connection. When fear, uncertainty + doubt creep in, we tend to isolate ourselves when what we really need is connection. Call up a friend. Stir up a coffee date or a small gathering. Prioritize meaningful time with others when you’re feeling blue. It helps to know you’re not alone with your feelings + connection is central to health + healing.
TIRED
Being tired is just like being hungry. Nothing works properly in your body when it’s tired. All kinds of illnesses stem from fatigue, so it’s important to prioritize rest + recovery.
If you’re having trouble sleeping, a few things that always help:
Set an alarm for when to shut off your phone + screen time. Yep, we often think of setting our alarm to wake us up in the morning. But, what we need is a reminder to start our night-time routine. Ideally, 1-2 hours off your phone, TV, computer before you go to bed will really help your sleep.
Start a night-time reading ritual. Reading a few pages before bed can help you slow down + unplug from the day. Bonus points if it’s something positive + uplifting.
Get some morning sunlight when you can. Being out in the morning sun helps to set your circadian rhythm for the day so you sleep better at night.
Cut back on caffeine + alcohol. Caffeine after mid-day can interfere with your sleep + that glass of wine in the evening might help you get to sleep faster, but you won’t sleep as deeply.
Isn’t it nice to remember that these simple things really do matter?
HALT also helps me become more compassionate with others because it reminds me how important these basic needs are…for ALL of us.
As fortunate as I am to have great health, a wonderful support system + all of these tools + strategies for well-being at my disposal, I can only imagine how desperate someone who doesn’t have these things would feel when surrounded by a constant barrage of fear, uncertainty + doubt.
If you are here reading these words with me, you are incredibly blessed as well. For those of us that have the capacity to do so, I feel it’s especially important that we prioritize + maximize our wellness right now.
The world needs us healthy + strong so we can add a voice of reason + sanity to the choir + so we can generate the love + compassion that only comes from healthy hearts + minds.
When we heal ourselves, we heal each other.
YOUR MISSION:
This week, I challenge you to practice HALT. Raise your level of wellness this week in one of these four areas so you can feel + share that positive energy it creates with those around you. When we heal ourselves, we heal each other. You in?
RESOURCES:
LISTEN: The Thrilling New Science of Awe | On Being with Krista Tippett
IN SUMMARY:
We just celebrated Earth Day this week. It is always good to remember the healing power nature brings us if we just get out there + let it. Listen to the birds. Watch a sunrise or sunset. Hug a tree. Take a walk. It will surely cure whatever FUDs you. :)
See you next week?
Meanwhile - you can read thru the archives here. And, please reach out to me anytime!
Email: karen@itmaybemenopause.com
Instagram: @itmaybemenopause
You did it again Karen, Thanks!!! I will keep trying to HALT!
I am intensively practicing HALT this week by hiking parts of the Camino de Santiago with a wonderful small group & eating incredible Spanish food. Every gentle, friendly pilgrim (backpacker) I pass who says to me “buen camino” restores my faith in humanity a little bit.