Welcome to a new week!
I’m writing this post the day before my birthday. I turn 55 this year! That may sound young to you or it may sound old. All I know is that I am happy to be here! Are you?
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JUST A NUMBER
I’m not really one for big birthday celebrations. I tend to use my birthday as a time of reflection instead. A time to stop + assess how I feel, my values, my relationships, my experience.
For me, that’s time with myself. Time with family. Time with friends. Time with nature. So, I gave myself ALL of those things this week - including some time in my flamingo floatie.
“Age is just a number.”
We hear this phrase all of the time. I get it, but I don’t really agree with the premise.
Age IS just a number - sure. But, in our world, those numbers mean a lot.
Numbers carry certain expectations. Financial. Social. Physical. Behavioral. Family.
Age is a form of measurement.
We use these numbers to determine our success by societal expectations. Have we checked all of the boxes?
We also use them as a measurement of how much time we think we have left. Are we getting the most out of life?
Yes, age IS a number…but it’s not JUST a number.
ACT YOUR AGE
We’ve been told our whole lives to ‘act your age’. I hope I didn’t say that to my kids, but I probably did.
We compliment + applaud kids who are ‘mature’ for their age.
On the other hand, we all know people (adults + kids alike) who don’t act their age. And, let’s be honest, we’ve rolled our eyes at some of them.
At 55, I have to say it’s pretty hard to know how I’m supposed to act. I can’t even figure out how to dress. (Seriously, if you have figured this out, please let me know!)
What I DO know is that as I approach menopause, I care less + less about what people think about me + more + more about how I feel about myself.
At this stage, I care less about how I LOOK + more about how I FEEL.
I make sacrifices to prioritize the things that make me feel my best - exercise, good sleep, healthy food + living in alignment with my own values. I protect my energy + boundaries. I’m more intentional about how I spend my time + with whom.
Maybe all of this IS acting my age?
You’ve probably seen this meme at some point…
50 today looks very different than it did even just a couple decades ago.
By the way, while many interpret this meme to say that women today look better than they did in the past…I see this meme as two women who stand out equally as bold in their time. Don’t you?
The truth is that each of us - whether you’re in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 100s - we are ALL changing the definitions + expectations around age + numbers right now.
So, don’t be afraid to carve your own path on what it means to ‘act your age’. You get to choose. And, you get to be part of forming future expectations + definitions of what it means to act your age.
LOOK YOUR AGE
Yes, I said it. Look your age!
I’ll bet no one has ever told you THAT before! You’re always supposed to look younger than you actually are - especially if you are female. You should never look your age.
Have you ever had someone tell you that you look great for your age or that you don’t look old enough to…have adult children or be retired or _____ ?
Of course, it’s supposed to be a compliment, but it’s really a backhanded compliment for a couple reasons. One - it implies that your actual age is a bad thing. Two - it reinforces + rewards you for looking younger than you are. Neither of these is very helpful.
There is a campaign going on right now on social media under the hashtag #ILookMyAge. The campaign was launched to call out + dispel outdated attitudes + assumptions about aging. Thousands of women have joined by posting a photo or video of themselves stating their name + age, followed by the statement “and I look my age.”
I love this campaign because it shows the diversity of looks + personalities of women - particularly those of a ‘certain age’ - a stage of life when women have traditionally been either left out or misrepresented in the media.
Whatever age you are, be proud of it. We shouldn’t have to hide our age because of the meaning others place on that number. In fact, the more we boldly claim that number, the more we break down those stereotypes for the future.
FEEL YOUR AGE
You’re only as old as you feel.
That’s a tricky one, too. This puts the onus on us. As if age is ‘just a feeling’ + of course, it’s not. Age is real. We don’t erase our age just by ‘feeling’ good.
For many of us, as we age, we feel like that same person we were decades ago, but we look in the mirror + see a body that doesn’t reflect what we feel.
No, age is not a feeling either.
Maybe you feel great. Maybe you think you should feel better than you do. Either way, you should be able to feel it without judgment. To enjoy feeling great or to want something better for yourself, regardless of your age.
BE YOUR AGE
Yes, there are a lot of pressures on us as we age - to act, look + feel a certain way. And, it’s up to us to sort through those + remember that they are just general sign posts on the road of life. We don’t have to follow them.
The truth is - however you act, look + feel - it’s unique to YOU.
I am MY version of 55. I act my age. I look my age. I feel my age. I AM my age.
I am growing + learning. Creating + exploring. Reinventing + revisiting. Aging + improving.
This is MY 55 + I look MY age!
I invite you to look YOUR age, too!
YOUR MISSION:
Next time, you catch yourself telling someone they look ‘great for their age’ - stop yourself. “You look great.” is actually a full sentence. You can stop right there.
RESOURCES:
READ: Anti-Aging Campaign goes viral as it takes social media by storm
READ: 99 Compliments To Give Someone (That Aren’t About Appearance)
IN SUMMARY:
Let’s help put an end to ageism by not reinforcing it in our daily lives. Aging should be celebrated - not for what it looks or acts like - but for the beauty it represents as a unique expression of one person’s life journey.
Act YOUR age. Look YOUR age. Feel YOUR age.
See you next week?
You can learn more about my work on my website or follow along with me on Instagram @itMayBeMenopause
Meanwhile - you can read thru the archives here. And, please reach out to me anytime!
Email: karen@itmaybemenopause.com
Instagram: @itmaybemenopause
I like that mission a lot!
Happy birthday! I love this post’s messages.