We’ve all had moments in life where you find yourself in a precarious spot. You can’t see what your next step is. You’re sort of hanging there.
Your mind starts spinning out as you think of every potential disaster that could occur if you don’t ‘get it right’.
I recently had one of those moments where I quite literally had to talk myself off a ledge.
Here’s what I learned…
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OUTER LIMITS
My husband + I had the opportunity to spend a few days in Moab, Utah a few weeks ago. It was a fantastic trip! We hiked, rafted + explored.
We spent a lot of our time in Arches National Park where we hit the trails to see all of the astonishing stone arches + rock formations.
I am very active + love being outdoors, but I should mention, I’m not really a ‘trail person’. I learned this the hard way.
My first experience with trail hiking was when I completed the 4-day Inca Trail to Machu Picchu with my daughter + my mom about 13 years ago. It was an incredible experience, but it was intense! The elevation. The terrain. The relentless ups + downs. It was no ‘walk in the park’.
My next experience was in 2018, when my husband + I decided to participate in a 50K trail run. I had just finished my third marathon, so taking things ‘up a notch’ with a trail run seemed like a great idea. But, every time we hit the trails for a long training run that season, I had a moment of self-reckoning. I wanted to love trail running, but it just wasn’t happening for me.
Of course, that didn’t stop me from going to Yosemite last summer for the first time + tackling a few of the more challenging trails. I guess as much as I don’t love trail hiking, I DO love a good physical challenge + a rewarding view. And - Wow! Did it deliver!
So, yeah, I’m not that person who LOVES trail hiking. But, at the same time, it doesn’t stop me from trying! There is just too much beauty waiting to be seen!
Back to Moab.
TRUE CLIFFHANGER
We did a few hours of hiking each day. The last day was our longest hike when we explored Devil’s Garden.
After you hike out to all of the arches, you have the option of hiking back the way you came or taking the Primitive Trail - a trail that is more adventurous because it is not as well-marked. You have to watch for small cairns (stacked stones that serve as trail markers).
As you enter the trail, signs clearly warn that you are entering a more challenging path. But, we had time + we were ready for an adventure, so we opted to go for it.
Yes, we’re amateurs, but how hard could it really be?
First, let me say - if you ever get a chance to visit, hike + explore Arches National Park - do it! It was beautiful! So many breathtaking moments. I can’t even begin to describe what we saw. I literally felt like I was walking around in a painting the entire time. The beauty was so surreal.
There are lots of easy trails + you can even see many of the amazing formations from the road in your car. But, if you like a good adventure, you’re steady-footed, have a good sense of direction + don’t mind a bit of rock scaling, make sure you opt for the Primitive Trail.
We loved every minute of this hike, but there was a spot on the trail where I found myself sprawled out on a rock, not sure how I was going to make my next move.
I can’t even remember the last time I had one of those moments. I mean - yes, I do that kind of stuff to myself mentally all the time. But, physically? In real life?
We came upon this slab of rock where the trail seemed to disappear. But, we saw the cairns clearly indicating we were on the right track.
We could see people down below, so we shouted down to them, “How did you get down there?” And, they told us, “Very carefully! Just follow the pieces of fingernail left on the side of the rock.”
About then, a couple appeared around the corner of the slab coming up our direction. They were very cautiously scaling the side of the rock. They both looked a bit terrified, but, inch by inch, they made their way around + up toward us. We cheered for them as they reached us + we began our descent.
I had a certain amount of confidence as we stepped into it since we just saw evidence it could be done. I knew it would be tricky, but I didn’t expect to find myself sprawled across that rock completely terrified.
My husband, who is part goat, moved along the slab pretty quickly, so I just followed his footsteps. But, there is a spot on that slab where you can’t put all of your weight down on your foot or you will slide off + end up on the ledge below.
Of course, you don’t know this until you get there.
When I reached this spot, I was stuck.
I could not figure out how to get my body across that edge of rock.
There was nowhere to put your foot + nothing to hold onto.
I knew I couldn’t have all my weight in my foot or I’d slide off. I also knew I was not feeling the necessary shift of weight in my upper body + core that would get me over this spot. I tried several different moves, but none of them was working for me. I could NOT figure out how to safely traverse.
I don’t know how to describe the feeling, but the longer I was sprawled out on that ledge, the more terrified I became.
To keep myself from completely panicking, I started talking to myself. I reminded myself of the people I had just seen. I saw my husband on the other side. He would be right there after I made this move. I knew it could be done.
I also gave myself some time to consider the worst-case scenario.
If I take this next step + it doesn’t work out, worst case, I would fall. I looked down + allowed myself to consider what that might look like. I might be scratched up + bruised, but it wasn’t life or death. I was not going to die.
Finally, I told myself, let’s do this.
I took a breath, shifted my weight + completed the traverse. I could feel the weight transfer inside of me as soon as I let go + there I was on the other side.
Phew! I made it!
As we walked away, my adrenaline was pumping like I haven’t felt since my last near-death experience. It took me a few minutes to get back in my body. At one point, I looked down at my hands + every knuckle was white. For the first time, I know what it means to ‘white knuckle’ something!
After I got myself grounded again, we had a few good laughs with all of the cliches - ‘talking myself off the ledge’, ‘white knuckling through it’ - how this experience was a real ‘cliffhanger’.
This will be a story we remember + talk about for many years to come.
But, my biggest takeaway from the whole experience was how sometimes you just have to trust yourself.
You can’t always experience how something feels until you feel it. You don’t always know what your next step is until you take the one in front of you.
And yes, sometimes you have to be willing to fall. You won’t really know if it’s going to work out until you make the move.
Of course, you don’t have to be literally sprawled out on a slab of rock to realize this important life lesson, but I share this story with you to remind you…
If you find yourself on a ledge, unsure of how to make that next step, yet you know either way, you’re not going to die + someone is waiting for you on the other side, take a deep breath + take that next step. You just might surprise yourself.
NEED A PUSH?
Before I go, I saw this video this week. It’s been around for a while, so you may have seen it already, but I just loved it. This little girl gives the adult in front of her a little push down the slide, but look what she does right before she goes down herself.
Isn’t that just the sweetest?
YOUR MISSION:
This week, I challenge you to give yourself that little push. Trust yourself to take that next step + enjoy the ride.
IN SUMMARY:
The older we get, the harder it can be to trust ourselves in those free-fall moments. You’d think it would get easier, but no. Sometimes experience + logic + all of that stuff is more of a hindrance than a help. Don’t let that stop you this week.
You can do things your mind cannot comprehend + that’s exactly how we grow. One huge, tiny step at a time.
See you next week?
Meanwhile - you can read thru the archives here. And, please reach out to me anytime!
Email: karen@itmaybemenopause.com
Instagram: @itmaybemenopause
Good for you! I’ve had moments like that on the trail, usually during a summit scramble, and I get “sewing machine leg” with my legs so tense they pulsate. I tell myself “calm the f*** down” and “trust your feet” but that’s easier said than done.
I loved "you're not a trail person." And I love being outdoors and trial hiking in elevation.
Only I live in Midwest Michigan where the term trail hiking takes on an entirely different meaning. It's more like a walk in the park. There are no mountains to scale, opportunities to push elevation, or rocks to scramble. I've been here 3 years and miss hiking trails every single day. I moved here from Reno/Tahoe.
Summers I ride my bike, swim in a lap pool, and walk in the park. Winters I sometimes cross-country ski the flatlands or snowshoe across meadow.s
Thank you for writing this piece. I needed it today on this beautiful Sunday morning as I see the blacktop from my kitchen window, instead of majestic rise of Mt. Rose off in the distance.