Welcome to The LIFT
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YOUR VOICE MATTERS
Hope you had a great week! It was busy in my neck of the woods. Since my last post, I traveled from San Diego to New York City + back. I feel a little behind with all of the things, but it was great to get away for a few days.
Top of my list today is to sit down + vote. Did you fill out your ballot yet? I normally don’t wait until the last minute like this, but - oh well. It is what it is.
And, it is NOT too late. So, if you haven’t voted yet, I hope you will join me.
I know turnout for midterm elections is always lower, but it’s SO important.
I never really understood just how much one voice matters until I started actively participating in advocacy work in the clean beauty industry seven years ago. Since then, I have realized just how few voices it takes to get an issue escalated + on the radar of our representatives.
I’ve also learned how important your vote is on the local level. You really need to pay attention to those you support + get to know the people running on the local level These people tend to move up the ranks once in office + they can also have a vital influence when it comes to protecting the outcome of elections.
Don’t assume someone else will show up + that your voice doesn’t matter. It matters SO much more than you realize.
NO ONE IS COMING
The other day on my way out of our apartment, I saw an empty paper coffee cup in the hallway. Rather than picking it up + throwing it away, I thought, “Look at that. Someone left trash in the hall! Who does that?”
On my way back home, I saw it again. I kind of shook my head with disgust as I passed by. How long it would sit there before someone would pick it up?
The next day, it was STILL there.
This ‘walking passed the trash’ thing continued for days as I passed by that same piece of trash time after time, each time grumbling louder to myself about it.
Until finally, I remembered one of my Dad’s famous sayings:
“No one is coming!”
He would always say this to make a point about the fact that when you find yourself waiting for the cavalry or waiting for permission or waiting for someone to swoop in + save the day…it’s time to realize:
No one is coming.
As these words echoed in my mind, I was no longer disgusted about the trash. I was disgusted with myself for looking at such a small need in my immediate surroundings + walking right passed it (over + over + over).
Good grief! What was I thinking? WHO did I want to pick it up? Someone else?
I guess I was just pouting because I didn’t want it dropped there in the first place. But, there it was.
Is me walking by it a hundred times going to fix the initial problem? No, it’s not.
When I think about the tiny little moments in my mind that I wasted every time I passed that piece of trash, I am befuddled with myself. What a waste! If I had just swooped down + picked that thing up the first time I saw it, I would have eliminated all of those little moments of frustration I felt with each passing.
In fact, I probably would have felt pretty darn proud of myself. All of those little moments I spent frustrated would have instead been spent patting myself on the back for doing a good deed. Which thoughts would YOU rather have floating around in your head?
Not to mention, who knows how many other people stepped over that same piece of trash wasting the same kind of thoughts + time that I did. I could have saved them all a bit of time + energy if I had been the one to stop + pick up that piece of trash.
If you stop + think about it, you can see how there are so many ways we live + act as if someone is coming. Someone else will take care of it.
Why do we assume someone is coming? After all, WE are already there - in the spot - seeing the need at hand. Perhaps that is WHY we are there in the first place - to be part of the solution.
Instead, we defer it to someone else:
someone else will take care of it
someone else will show up to volunteer
someone else will be there to make it happen
someone else has more time than me, let them do it!
Or, even worse, we think, Hey, why isn’t “so and so” doing their job?
We seem to get more pleasure out of noticing who ISN'T doing their job than from generously taking a simple little step to help out.
This little piece of trash story is a very simple example, but it is so indicative of our natural tendencies.
What are we thinking during those moments we find ourselves looking at a little ‘trash’? When we’re standing right there, why do quickly take note of the fact that someone dropped the ball? Why do we immediately try to find someone else to deal with it or, worse yet, to blame for it?
A little involvement is such a small thing to ask of ourselves. It’s not about going the extra mile. It’s about taking one small movement from right where you are already standing. It’s about noticing what you are noticing. It’s about taking action on that thought.
There are SO many little moments like this in our lives every single day. Little tiny ways that we can make a difference….give back…contribute…influence…achieve…and with such little effort. Sure, there are huge things, too, but let’s start with baby steps here!
TAKE THE LEAD
I’ll admit after a long hard day, it’s a lot easier to sit at home + watch Netflix. Let someone else take the lead. But, I’ll ask you another one of my dad's favorite sayings:
"How's that working out for you?”
Is the world around you magically improving without you? Do things just keep getting better all of the time? Are those things that are so critically important to you magically getting done?
Probably not…and why?
Because YOU are the one to make it happen.
You.
No one else.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
All this said - “No one is coming” doesn’t mean to say you are in it all alone.
It just means YOU need to take the step - be the solution.
Don’t wait for someone else to come along + do it. As soon as you take that step, you’ll realize you’re not alone in the effort at all. There are people just dying to come + help you.
Whatever it is you want to do, there are people who feel the same way. People are looking for ways to get involved. They WANT to rally behind you + help the cause. They are looking for ways to make a difference.
The minute you step up + point to the goal, people will begin asking how they can help. At first, it will only be a person or two, but the momentum will build + eventually you’ll have your own entourage.
That’s how it works.
What is your piece of trash? Is there something you are continually walking over…wondering who is coming?
YOUR MISSION:
This week, I invite you to look at the ways you defer to others - when maybe a simple, small action on your part would eliminate the entire issue. What would happen if you just stopped + picked up that piece of trash? Take the action. Watch what happens.
IN SUMMARY:
If you haven’t voted yet, it’s not too late. Don’t assume someone is coming. They are not. Even if they were, your voice still matters. We each have our part in making our world what it is. This is one of the most important ways you can be part of the solution.
See you next week?
Meanwhile - you can read thru the archives here. And, please reach out to me anytime!
Email: karen@becounter.com
Instagram: @redefiningkaren
The trash I seem to step over is in my own house. I think of so many things I need to do but I step over most of them and I know for sure no one is coming!! Maybe you have nudged me to get busy!
Thanks daughter. I’d like to add a note to your Lift. When serving on the board the National Council for Self Esteem, I met my friend, Nathaniel Brandon. He wrote 30+ books on self esteem. I asked him once to boil down what he had learned in all his research and what was the main point of his philosophy. He answered, ‘No One is Coming!’. By that he meant what you described in your Lift..
It’s up to each one of us to add value to our lives. No one else will do it for us. No one else CAN do it for us. Personal responsibility belongs to each of us. Thanks for reminding me of this powerful idea.