The cost of beauty
And fixing what isn't broken
Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this topic, but before I dive in…
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THE PIPER CALLED
Last week, my sister called to ask if I could pick her up + give her a ride home after her Mohs surgery. If you’re not familiar with Mohs - it’s a procedure to treat skin cancer. And, it’s not fun. They remove the damaged tissue. You wait while the tissue is examined for cancer cells. Depending on the results, they keep repeating these steps until they get it all.
As a freckled gal who loves the sun - and who suffered several serious sunburns in my teens - I am at high risk for skin cancer. So are my sisters. So are lots of us who grew up in the 80s.
It’s just one example of the consequences of trying to ‘look good’.
Growing up, I had a very clear understanding of the consequences of NOT looking good, but I never stopped to think about the flip side of that. The cost of beauty.
As I dropped off my sister at home that afternoon to begin her healing process, I really took pause at the price we pay for ‘beauty’. And how slippery the pursuit of ‘beauty’ really is.
After all, the definition changes all the time.
THE PURSUIT OF BEAUTY
What defines beauty today is very different from what defined it decades ago. Trends change. Think about it. Big boobs vs. small boobs. Thin vs. Curvy. Thick eyebrows vs. thin ones. Big hair vs. Brazilian Blow Outs. Long nails vs. short nails. If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve watched a lot of these trends come + go. And come back!
Having a golden tan was ‘in’ when I was growing up. We worked hard to transform the color of our pasty skin. We spent all summer getting that golden look. Then tanning beds came along + we could get that same look all year round.
Looking back, I can’t even imagine the time I invested in ‘getting tan’.
And WHY? Seriously. Looking back - it seems almost ludicrous.
Ninety percent of the signs of aging are caused by the sun. (Did you know that? 90%!)
And now, at my age, everyone is trying to erase wrinkles! So essentially, you could say I spent the first half of my life damaging my skin so that I could spend the second half of my life repairing it. All so I could meet the standards of what I perceived as ‘beauty’. Never giving thought to my own health or the fact that the beauty standards I grew up with might one day change.
As a clean beauty advocate, I work at the crossroads of health + beauty. Personally, I question how health + beauty became mutually exclusive. But, the truth is, they did. And, I think it’s something we as women should acknowledge + talk about.
“We must stop asking women to compromise their health in the name of beauty.” - Gregg Renfrew
What if the time, energy + money we put into our ‘beauty’ we instead invested in our health? How would that change us? What would life look like? What would WE look like?
Take a moment + give that some thought. And, maybe take that a step further - what if by definition health equaled beauty? How would THAT change our priorities?
What if we spent as much time on our health + wellness as we do on trying to ‘look good’?
The older I get, the more I value my health. The more I invest in my health, the more beautiful I feel. The more beautiful I feel, the more I want to show up in my life. To embody + embrace every moment.
Are you noticing this in your life? Is your definition of beauty changing?
LOVING WHAT IS
When I see women cower as they look at their face in their mirror - when they hate seeing themselves in photos - when they run from the camera - when they see themselves looking like an ‘old lady’ + apologize for it - it breaks my heart.
Aging is a gift.
Look deep into your eyes. There’s NOTHING wrong with your face. There’s nothing wrong with your loose skin. There’s nothing wrong with the changing shape of your body. There’s nothing wrong with looking like an ‘old lady’. There’s nothing that needs fixing. In fact, quite the opposite.
“A face that shows evidence of a long life should wield power, not incite prejudice.” - Justine Bateman
YOUR MISSION:
This week, I encourage you to inventory the time, effort + money you invest in beauty. Hair, skin, nails, makeup, clothes, supplements, treatments. Does it surpass the investment you make in your health? (And by health, I am talking your holistic health - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual well-being.)
Here’s another question to ponder: When you think of beauty, where does it reside? In the past? Future? Or present? Do you think of it as something you once had, something you’d like to have in the future, or something you have right now?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment for me.
INVITATION:
I invite you to join me this week - October 4-8 for the High 5 Challenge led by Mel Robbins. Let’s see what 5 days of self encouragement, acknowledgement & acceptance does to LIFT our spirits. Check it out & let me know if you’re in!
RESOURCES:
WATCH: What is Beauty? | Anna Ginsburg (This short film is such a great reminder that beauty is ever-changing + how fast the definition changes)
READ: FACE: One Square Foot of Skin | Justine Bateman
READ: Radical Aging Purposeful Living | Stacy London
READ: Anti-Aging Ads are Out | Mean Magazine
LISTEN: Stacy London on the Upside of an Existential Crisis | Ladies First with Laura Brown
READ: There’s Nothing Wrong with your Face | Mean Magazine
WATCH: Iris Apfel Celebrates 100th Birthday | TODAY
IN SUMMARY:
As women, we have all paid a price for beauty. We’ve all made sacrifices to our health in the name of beauty. Many of those sacrifices unbeknownst to us at the time.
We live in a world where a lot of money is spent to make us feel broken so even more money can be made ‘fixing’ us. It’s important for us as women to be aware of this.
Even so, there’s nothing wrong with spending time + money on beauty. It can be fun + playful. Shape-shifting. Accessorizing. Transforming.
But please, never forget that beauty comes from within. You are already beautiful. There is nothing that needs fixing.
Aging is a magical adventure that not everyone gets to experience. One day you will look back + wish you had fully appreciated the health + beauty you have TODAY.
So, don’t wait!
Love who you are right NOW.
See you next week?
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Curious to hear your thoughts.