The problem with consistency
And why it's such a struggle
I hear so many people talking about consistency right now. It is widely touted as the key to success. Consistent action. Consistent habits. Consistent behaviors.
Success doesn’t come from what you do occasionally. It comes from what you do consistently. - Marie Forleo
Consistency is the ultimate goal.
We spend the first month of the year trying to change up our routines + get back to consistency - in our workouts, diets, meditation, savings, investments. All the things.
We start off with the best intentions. And then, somewhere along the way, we skip a beat + it all falls apart.
That’s the problem with consistency.
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THE PROBLEM
At the beginning of the year, I shared about the life planning practice my husband + I have done consistently for the last 20 years.
Taking that time to assess + regroup on our big goals together was SO helpful (Dare I say, GAME-CHANGING).
I honestly think I would have come out of the gate this year running the wrong direction if we hadn’t taken that time to stop + assess.
I didn’t realize just how ‘off course’ I was. I also didn’t realize just how ‘on course’ I was. I also realize this makes no sense at all, which is my whole point. Let me see if I can explain.
If I were to hit ‘replay’ on my self-talk this past year, it would be a nagging, constant thread of self-evaluation with ‘not enough’ as a key theme.
I didn’t grow enough. Do enough. Make enough.
I don’t know where that voice comes from or where she gets her information or what metric she is using for ‘enough’. But, turns out she’s a big fat liar!
When I sat down with my personal mission statement + looked at the numbers + all of the things I did this past year, it was quite the opposite of not enough.
In fact, each area that I track grew significantly this past year. My client base. My income. My education/expertise. My skills. My relationships.
I was actually rather shocked when I realized just how different my actual results were from my perceived results.
If I didn’t have this review system in place, I could have easily convinced myself to scrap everything + start something new thinking that nothing was working when, in reality, I was right on course. Moving swiftly toward my goals.
That’s the problem with consistency.
Small actions done consistently over time lead to massive change, but there are some pitfalls on the path to consistency that really mess us up if we aren’t prepared for them.
I call them traps, but honestly, they are just little lies that take us off track. Luckily, they are easy to overcome - especially if we catch them early. But, if we don’t see them coming, it’s very easy to spin them into excuses that hold us back from progress + keep us from our goals.
I thought I’d share them here because I know we’re all working on improving our lives in some way this year. We all want to be a little more consistent with our good habits.
I’m also jotting these down here so I remember to watch for the signs myself. Because while they are obvious, they can really derail you if you aren’t paying attention.
If you have something you’d like to add to the list or have a solution to offer up, please share in the comments. We can all learn from each other.
AVOIDING THE TRAPS
Some people have a natural propensity for consistency + self-discipline. My husband is one of those. Others (like myself) have to really learn + practice these skills.
If you’re more like me (a rider on the consistency struggle bus), I hope these thoughts help you recognize + avoid the traps so you can stay the course + enjoy the massive benefits consistency delivers on so many levels of life.
TRAP 1: ENOUGHNESS
At some level, many of us believe anything of value has to be hard. We think we have to do BIG things for it to count. We don’t believe in the power of small actions. We don’t trust the process. We doubt our plan. We don’t let enough be enough. We always think we can (and should) do more.
If we have more time or more energy, we should do MORE, right?
This is a terrible trap because most of us are doing things with the goal of having more time + energy. If every time we have find ourselves with more time + energy, we do more…well, you see the problem. It’s a Catch-22.
If we run full throttle all the time, we get wiped out + we quit. Smaller actions done consistently is where the magic happens.
HOW TO AVOID
This is a tricky one for a lot of us. We really have to stop ourselves + remind ourselves that enough is enough. The whole point of having a plan with smaller actions is so you can sustain it - even in times when you don’t have the time or energy.
If you have extra time + energy, that’s a sign of success. You are seeing results. Celebrate those small wins + use your energy to enjoy other parts of your life.
TRAP 2: ALL OR NOTHING
This is probably the most common trap. It’s the one that has people in the gym for a few weeks in January, never to be seen again - until next year.
We think consistency means without fail. We make a promise to ourselves with some lofty goal + then the second we screw it up, we drop it altogether.
The only way to develop consistency is with practice (aka consistency). Consistency is about repetition. When you skip a beat, you jump back in. You don’t give up.
Failure is not in skipping, it’s in stopping.
HOW TO AVOID
When you skip out on yourself, just jump back in. You are not a failure because you messed up. It’s part of the process. Get back into the game as quickly as you can. Same thing when you mess up the next time. I can promise you, it’s going to happen.
Remind yourself that consistency is just as much about getting back in as it is about starting.
TRAP 3: PACE
One of the big problems with consistency is that results come in smaller increments. It’s easy to miss them or dismiss them.
It’s like living with a small child. On a daily basis, you don’t necessarily see their growth. But, if you go away for a month, when you return, their growth will be obvious.
The early days of consistency are truly hard to measure because the results seem so small + insignificant. It’s easy to throw in the towel + give up because we are not seeing big enough returns.
The problem is we don’t realize the compounding effect of our small actions or the power of time to deliver results we can’t even begin to imagine from where we are standing now.
If you could have your choice of $1 million in cash today vs. one penny doubled daily for 30 days, which would you choose? (HINT: Take the penny)
Small actions done consistently almost always trump big actions done sporadically.
HOW TO AVOID
Create checkpoints for yourself + metrics to measure your progress. This gives you the chance to measure results, but also to allow for time to work its magic. If you stare at the results every day, you might miss them + give up too soon. If you create checkpoints (monthly or quarterly), you will be able to see the results more clearly, which will give you the motivation + confidence to keep going.
TRAP 4: MONOTONY
Let’s face it, consistency can be boring. It can feel monotonous. Once you get yourself to a point where the task is basically on auto-pilot, you are probably going to get bored. You might feel a bit like a robot just going through the motions. It’s easy to discount the value or forget why you started in the first place.
This is another one of those huge traps because monotony is actually a sign of huge success. You have finally dialed in a goal that used to be a struggle. You’ve made it so easy, you are now bored with it. That’s amazing!
Don’t let boredom take you off course. Use it to propel you forward.
HOW TO AVOID
There are a couple of things I like to do when I find myself bored with a good solid routine.
The first? A bit of work on my mindset. Sometimes just bringing awareness + gratitude to the task at hand is enough to snap you out of it. I remind myself how far I’ve come. I celebrate the fact that I’ve finally reached a level of ‘mastery’ that makes it so easy now I hardly have to think about it.
The other key thing for me when it comes to routine is making sure there is a consistent break in the monotony. For example, my meal planning + exercise plans are very routine during the week, but on the weekend, I change them up. By routinely breaking up my routine, it allows for some freedom + variety that doesn’t take me off course.
One more thing I will add here: If the task itself is boring for you, there are ALWAYS multiple ways to reach the same goal. For example, I change my workout routine throughout the year, but I don’t change its consistency.
Variety is the spice of life! Don’t let boredom derail you. Intentionally add variety to your routine.
TRAP 5: DEFERMENT
One of the biggest traps to being consistent is letting other people pull us off course. It’s very easy to let someone else’s emergency derail us. It’s easy to give up on ourselves in the name of helping someone else. We promise ourselves we will get to ourselves later. But later never comes.
This one is tricky because it is a combination of all of the other traps. We convince ourselves that the little thing we committed to is not that important. Our needs are not as important as someone else’s. Not to mention, it’s a lot easier to see results in the things we do for others than for ourselves, so we get more instant gratification.
Obviously, there are times in life that derail us - emergencies, tragedy, illness - that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about those times we let someone else be our excuse for not doing what we need to do.
HOW TO AVOID
The best way to avoid this one is to make sure you have buddy - an accountability partner - someone who is working toward the same goal. That connection with someone else is exactly what will help you stay the course when the temptation to drop it all in the name of ‘helping someone’ comes along.
A friend, class, coach or community can be key to maintaining consistency + avoiding these common pitfalls.
WELCOME EASE
It’s true that hard work pays off. Those sprints in life where we challenge ourselves + push our limits can be very powerful + exciting. But, they aren’t where the real magic happens.
The real work is in showing up every day, taking that small action that you know will get you to your goal + allowing it to be enough.
Allow yourself to celebrate each little win along the way - not just for what it is now, but where it’s taking you down the road.
YOUR MISSION:
This week, I challenge you to scan the horizon + see which of these traps is on your path right now. Maybe you’re sitting in it directly already. Are you ready to get back on course?
What would happen if you allowed today’s small action to be enough?
RESOURCES:
READ: The Compound Effect | Darren Hardy
READ: 99 Ways to Invest in your Future | The Good Trade
IN SUMMARY:
Of course, consistency works just as consistently with our bad behaviors + habits as it does for our good ones So, if your results are going in the opposite direction of your goals, take pause to look at what you are doing consistently + its impact.
What new behaviors do you need to swap in? When will you start?
I spent the year thinking I was falling behind, when in reality, I was making huge strides. I can’t help but wonder, what if I had spent the year enjoying the excitement of all of the growth I was experiencing + using the momentum as fuel instead?
You can bet I’ll be doing a lot more tracking this year to avoid these traps. And, every time I find myself back in one of them (which will no doubt happen), I’ll remind myself how easy it is to LIFT myself back out + jump back in. You with me?
See you next week?
Meanwhile - you can read thru the archives here. And, please reach out to me anytime!
Email: karen@becounter.com
Instagram: @redefiningkaren
Once again……this message really hit home as I slowly relax into my recent retirement (for lack of better word). Thank you, Karen Friend Smith for sharing your thoughts & strategies. The Lift is a gift every week.
I always take away helpful nuggets from The Lift, Karen. Thanks for this excellent piece!