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BOO!
Since it’s Halloween - I thought it would be fun to talk about something scary.
This photo was from the last Halloween we celebrated - four years ago! Crazy how time flies. We lost a couple of Halloweens due to COVID + trying to keep ourselves safe. We lost another one due to a move.
In 2019, we moved on Halloween day. As emptynesters, the move was a big transition for us. After living 25 years in the same 4-mile radius, we traded in our 3 bedroom, 3 bath, suburban family home lifestyle for a 1 bedroom, 1 bath, luxury high-rise lifestyle.
Major project + major change!
Since we were moving on Halloween, we joked about how fun it would be to dress up like the Clampetts. How perfect would it be to pull in front of our brand new luxury building with all of the fancy cars in an old pick-up truck dressed up like Jed + Granny? It would have been hilarious. Can you imagine?
Turns out moving day is serious work - even on Halloween. There was no time to goof off or dress up for anything that year!
Instead, we imagined ourselves that day as The Jeffersons while humming the theme song “Moving on Up” as we unloaded our boxes from the elevator to set up our new nest - empty as it was.
I remember standing out in front of our house that day teary-eyed with the neighbors from across the street as we said our farewells. We were only moving 20 miles away, but we knew it was the end of an era. Those random encounters out in the driveway, game nights + walks over to the neighborhood pub would no longer be a thing. Life was changing.
We have always had fantastic neighbors - as far back as I can remember. The last 3 years has been no different in that sense. We have made some great friends in our new spot.
In fact, just last night, we gathered in the library in costume to celebrate Halloween.
It was also a farewell party for two of our favorite neighbors. Kunal + Natasha headed out early this morning for Washington D.C. where he will be starting his new dermatology practice + they will begin a new chapter of their lives.
We shed a few tears this morning as we said our farewells. It felt a lot like that day exactly 3 years ago when WE were the ones moving + saying farewell to the neighborhood.
WE FEAR CHANGE
As you can see in the photo above, my husband + I dressed up as Wayne & Garth from Wayne’s World.
As I was looking up images + quotes from Garth so I could figure out my costume, I came across this quote/scene that I had completely forgotten. It was a random scene with Rob Lowe + where Garth hammers away at a fake arm after stating, “We fear change.”
Such a great scene. So random + hilarious.
And so true.
I had this feeling myself as I watched Kunal + Natasha load their suitcases into the back of the car + head off to the airport in the wee hours this morning.
Change.
It’s hard. It’s exciting. It’s scary.
Last week, I talked about THE “change” (aka: menopause). But, that’s just one of many changes at this stage of life in my world. There has also been a change in environment, neighborhood, lifestyle + identity.
Just a few years ago, we were the suburban, commuting, civically-engaged, parentals, nearing retirement. Now, we are this active bike-riding, urban, high-rise, fun-loving, carefree, empty-nesting couple.
It’s kind of weird.
And yet, kind of awesome.
Simultaneously, we ALL went through some very big changes collectively as a society through the pandemic these last few years. Things we can’t even fully appreciate right now because we are all still too close to it.
I think we all feel a little bit like Garth these days - hammer in hand.
THE COMFORT ZONE
We are taught our whole life that all of the magic in life sits right outside our comfort zone. While I believe that’s absolutely true. I also think it’s true that we can take comfort in any zone + that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
One of the strangest things about this time of life for me is this sensation of dancing between both - comfort + change. Maybe it has always existed, but just feels more pronounced right now.
At 54, I am probably halfway through my life if I play my cards right.
There’s a part of me that is SO excited to embrace this phase of life. Like a new beginning. Start something new. Create. Build. I have SO much ahead of me!
At the same time, I have this strong pull to slow down + relax. I no longer feel a need to prove anything or to do anything that wastes my time or energy.
I want to learn + grow. But, I also want to relax + enjoy.
It’s a weird place to be.
Right in the middle of both.
THE BOOGIE MAN
Change is definitely scary, but so is comfort. I’m not sure which is scarier. For me, it might be comfort that scares me most. Heck, my very first issue of The LIFT was about just that - Are you growing or aging?
But, here’s a thought.
Maybe it’s not an either/or. Maybe it’s both.
I don’t want to waste a moment of this precious life + I know there is so much more to experience - aka: CHANGE.
I simultaneously know that the best way to make time slow down is to do less + savor more - aka: COMFORT.
Maybe I am growing AND aging.
Maybe I am changing - comfortably.
I think this is the wisdom that comes with age. Seeing both sides of the coin. Knowing that there ARE two sides. Knowing that you can choose. While also knowing paradoxically that they can both exist at the same time.
How’s THAT for spooky?
Kind of a deep thought for a Sunday morning, but this is what I pondered as I waved goodbye to our neighbors this morning. Is it the end or the beginning? Or both?
YOUR MISSION:
What do you fear most? Change or comfort?
Are you afraid of the changes going on around you? Changes that might be coming down the line?
Or are you afraid of getting too comfortable? Getting stuck + life passing you by?
Can you see these both at the same time?
IN SUMMARY:
Sometimes we change too fast. Sometimes we change too slowly. Sometimes we get stuck.
Sometimes we slow down too early. Sometimes we slow down too late. Sometimes we don’t slow down at all.
That’s the journey. And, it’s all scary. And, it’s all exciting. And, it’s everything in between.
See you next week?
Meanwhile - you can read thru the archives here. And, please reach out to me anytime!
Email: karen@becounter.com
Instagram: @redefiningkaren
Great article, Karen! I think more than anything, I fear having regrets. I want to live my life to the fullest and at times that means change and growth and in other seasons it means rest and rejuvenation. I am currently in a season of the latter and am embracing it. Thanks for the “food for thought” this morning.
The only that is constant is "change" and I feel "comfortable" with that!! I don't fear much but a bit of "missing out" and/or the "unknown". Karen you truly have a gift at writing and I so look forward to your Sunday article! Thanks.