What's holding you back?
How to take the next imperfect step
Welcome to a new week!
Before I dive into this post, I want to make sure you know that everything I share here in The LIFT is something I am learning (or relearning) in real-time.
Every week, I carve out time to stop and think. To reflect. To question. And then - to share. Not because I have the answers. Far from it. I’m just leaning into the questions around me.
And, it’s always fun to see what emerges when I just take a moment to think.
This week’s post came while I was out on my morning run. If you’re at a fork in the road or not sure how to take that next step toward your goal, maybe this will help.
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THE BEST CHOICE
I was chatting with a friend recently about how we drink our coffee. She is trying to cut dairy, but has heard so many conflicting resources about which plant-based milk is ‘good’ for you and which is ‘bad’. She doesn’t want to mess with her coffee until she knows which is the best choice. So, she’s sticking with her half-and-half until she has enough confidence in her choice of replacements.
I get it. I love my morning coffee ritual. There’s just something about the perfect cup. The way I like it. And that time I carve out in the morning to enjoy it.
I like my coffee black. Nothing added. But when I think back over decades of coffee drinking in my life, I remember all of the years I used a vanilla-flavored creamer in my coffee every day. Back then, I couldn’t imagine drinking coffee black. There was ALWAYS a box of creamer in our fridge.
In time, I learned about the ingredients in that creamer. I knew they weren’t supporting my health goals. So I started replacing it with my own mix of nut milk and vanilla. I don’t remember which nut milk I started with - I think it was almond. Truth is, I didn’t choose based on which was healthiest or best. I chose based on which one I liked - which one came closest to tasting like the creamer I was used to - which one allowed me to continue enjoying my morning ritual while still removing the dairy and the additives from my boxed creamer.
I certainly could have debated which plant-based milk was going to be the healthiest for me and the planet - almond, oat, cashew, soy, etc. And, I could have gotten lost in all of the information that pits one milk against the next.
But looking back, it didn’t even matter. As I changed my diet and my lifestyle, my tastes changed. Now, here I am drinking my coffee black.
Hopefully, you’re starting to see where I’m going with this.
This post is NOT about coffee drinking or milk preferences.
It’s about the way we stop ourselves from starting something because we don’t want to get it wrong.
In the process of waiting to get it right, we miss out on exploring all of the options. Trying things out. Experimenting. Tasting. Enriching our lives. Maybe even healing.
It’s easy to get caught up in wanting to get it right. After all, we were raised in a system that rewards the right answer.
But, the older you get, the more you realize:
The answers are rarely definitive. Even when they seem to be, they change in time.
So, whatever is holding you back from your next step, don’t wait to make sure you have it definitively right because ‘right’ is ever-evolving.
Instead, have fun finding the answer that works for you right now. You can change your mind later.
The sooner you take that next imperfect step - the sooner you realize that life is not a straight line. It was never meant to be. That’s the fun of it all. The crooked line.
CLOSER TO FINE
While I was pondering these thoughts on my morning run today, a song came up randomly on the playlist I was listening to. I stopped thinking for a moment and just listened:
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
There's more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine, yeah
I’m going to leave it here for you. Take a listen.
YOUR MISSION:
This week, I challenge you to ask yourself what’s calling to you? What’s holding you back? If your only answer to that question is something based in a fear of getting it ‘wrong’, I invite you to join me in taking an imperfect step along the crooked line.
RESOURCES:
LISTEN: Midlife is a Chrysalis, not a Crisis | Rich Roll Podcast
LISTEN: Closer to Fine | Indigo Girls
READ: This Unusual Habit Can Change Your Life | The Soul Jam
IN SUMMARY:
I’ll admit, the perfectionist in me loves getting things ‘right’. But, life has taught me that sometimes the only way to get it right is to take the next imperfect step - as unsure as it might be.
Let’s have some fun stumbling around together this week on the crooked line.
See you next week?
Meanwhile, reach out to me anytime!
Karen Friend Smith
Certified Health Coach & Environmental Health Specialist
Specializing in Perimenopause & Menopause
karen@itmaybemenopause.com
www.itMayBeMenopause.com
Instagram: @itmaybemenopause
Made me wonder what my next imperfect steps will be! Thought-provoking article! Dee❤️
Apparently since getting older I'm (almost) paralyzed trying to bring in a second income, one that I'm passionate about. First it was trying virtual assisting, then it was a dog treat business, Etsy and Gum Road stores (one item in each, never got further), working in retail (couldn't stand and do nothing for hours on end), a deli (couldn't stand the smell of meat)—the latter two were a weak attempt at going back into the work force, which I quickly figured out wasn't my desire—and the list goes on.
I started Substack on a whim. I wanted to market my latest products (creating printables) but that fizzled out because of my paralysis for graphic design, so no sellable printables. It's something I want to do so badly but talent isn't there. So I start and stop creating, resorting to coloring books to build up confidence for completing art. (Lately it's gotten so bad I buy coloring books, with color by numbers.)
Fortunately my Substack is holding up, even though each new article (in my mind) is horrible, but I push publish anyway. I promised myself 52 weeks of publishing, no matter how horrible, though I do my best.
I think the perfect end result would be my creating art and selling it. Of course this is as far from what I've done my entire life (casino gambling) at it can get. But. I'm still holding out hope I'll break through this paralysis - it's been about six years in the making. Great article, it gives me food for thought.